<<< budu boy >>>: This Is My House

This road is dangerously shallow, steep and bumpy. When you drive a big car like that, be extremely watchful, because this third-world looking passage is potentially capable to scratch the bottom of your expensive, lowered car like this. Slow down please, slow down, yes.

You know what, friend. Poor Jimi. He is always unluckily victimized by this road’s poor condition. To avoid this, everybody has to get out of his car to reduce the car weight, so the car wouldn’t hit the bumpy road. Funny, right? My housemate also has the same problem, always slowing down his car at a nail’s pace when driving through this car-unfriendly alley. But, not for a professional driver like me. I would just drive effortlessly and zoom like a professional F1 driver. Fast and efficient. Not a single scratch.

Okay alhamdulillah. You are now down past the chilling alley. Congratulations! Your car is safe. You can park your car here. No, don’t look back at that alley. Hmm, pretty scary, isn’t it?

No, no. Not that bungalow on the high land. For God’s sake, that’s my landlord’s house (I will tell you about my kind landlord in a short while, be patient). There. My house is that single storey house. Let’s get a better view.

See? There are six units of these look-alike landed lot properties. Mine is one of them. Let’s get closer. Talk a walk with me. Come on.

Keep moving. Hmm. No one is around. It is always like this. Quiet. My house is located there, there, there. That side. Yes, with a tired-looking sofa in front of it. Cool, ek?

There you go. Taraa….! This is where I live. What do you think? Kampung house? Of course, it is. Sorry to disappoint you. I am not staying in a posh condominium. Honestly, I am tired of high-rise buildings. After those tiring years of staying far above the gravity, I finally decided to go back to traditions, by choosing a kampung residence, like this. Yes, I have been living here happily for 20 months (For the record, this is my tenth rented house, if I am not mistaken lah. Lost count already).

After staying here for quite some time, I can claim that this is the best living area I have ever been in my life. It is perfectly harmonious for a melancholic bachelor like me. When I looked at this house for the first time, I was thinking of a remote resort. Quiet. Peaceful. Safely isolated. (You can hear the roosters crowing at odd hours, knowing how the urban man lives).

So, I have lived in the house mostly alone. I truly enjoy the beauty of loneliness. But, I did and do have a housemate. Two different housemates actually. The first one was an Indonesian friend, who stayed here for only three months and moved out when he decided to settle down (No, I did not kick him out. Don’t believe the rumours, my dear). The second housemate is a good Ipoh friend, who has been with me for three months. Yes, he is currently my housemate. No, he is not in the house now. He is out-station. Always busy (I will talk about my next-top-model housemate later, okay?).

All right. Now, let’s talk about the surrounding of this house. The neighbours are mostly families, who sleep at 10.30 p.m. every night (so, you can imagine the stillness of my beautiful nights here). They are diplomatically friendly, although I hardly communicate with them. Well, maybe a little chit-chat and gossip once in a blue moon. But, they are very nice people. Oh, that’s Kak Nor. There. See? She gave me that smile again. She always gives me that strange look whenever I smile at her. I don’t know. Shhh. I have a feeling that she might think that I am flirting with her. Excuse me friend, I am not into someone’s desperate housewives, okay.

My landlord? Yes. She is unbelievably friendly and helpful. A typical Kelantanese woman. Busy-like look. Busybody. I like her a lot, not because we are from the same root, but for other non-racial reasons. Her whole family has migrated to KL and lived happily ever after in that English-style bungalow at the back of my house. Their house is so close to mine I could easily eavesdrop on their conversations from my kitchen (I always wonder whether they do the same too). Interestingly, she refuses to speak to me in Kelantan. Instead, she prefers to speak in a standard KL language, although her Kelantanese budu accent can be easily noticed. Well, she got style, man. One thing about her that I like most is that she takes care of the welfare of her tenants, and you can get better “perks” when you know how to talk to her in a subtle way.

Let me tell you a story. There was a time during a raining season. The ground areas around my house became so muddy that they caused inconvenience for the tenants, especially me who had to stare grimly at my newly-washed car and newly-polished shoes being always covered in soil and mud. So, to fight for my rights as a lawful tenant, I went to see this Lord of the Land.

“Excuse me mak cik,” I started with a smile. Gaining my composure and confidence, I continued, “We have a little problem down there.”
“What is it, son?” she asked me quite motherly.
“Well mak cik, apparently, it is raining season right now. And the whole area is now covered with dirt and lopak.”
“Really? Okay, I will see into that later.” See? Can you see it now? It is in front of your eyes! I said this to her in my private thoughts.
“Mak cik,” I whispered to her, “my friends always come over to my house. They always say: “Aren’ t your landlord taking care of your welfare?”. I was shocked mak cik. Really. I was embarrassed actually with my friends’ comments. Because, I know my landlord is not like that. She is a very kind woman, who knows how to take care of her tenants’ welfare.”
She was strangely quiet. I immediately excused myself and left.

Few hours later, I found this all over the place in front of my house. See this.

Ops, sorry my sweetheart. You have been standing there so patiently for a long time listening to my stories, and I haven’t even invited you into my pondok. I am very sorry. I am a poor host, I know. Come on, come on. Get inside. Take off your shoes first, of course. Silakan masuk.

Tafaddhol mashkuro.