Monday, February 13, 2006
Business English
Mistakes and miscommunication are everywhere. So don’t worry and enjoy these civilized imperfections around the world:

In a launderette:
• Drop your pants here for best results.
• Please remove your clothes when the light goes out.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

In a restaurant:
• Special – Chicken $4.00, Beef $5.00, Children $3.00
• Best sandwish in town – Buy three free one.
• Secret Recipe: Special today – no ice cream.
• Our coffee leaves you nothing to hope for.

In a zoo:
• Elephant please stay in your car.
• Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
• The river is inhabited by crocodiles. Swimming is prohibited. Survivors will be prosecuted.

In a hospital:
• No children allowed in the maternity ward.
• Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an airline ticket office:
• We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In an office bulding:
• Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

In advertisement columns:
• Wanted – man to take care of cow that does not smoke.

In a car rental centre:
• Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and you’ll never go anywhere again.

In a jewellery shop:
• Out of business. Thanks to our customers.

In a repair shop:
• We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work.)

In a toy shop:
• Doll: Laugh while you throw up.

In antique shop:
• A desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

In a swap shop:
• We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Illiterate? Write today for help.

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mused by cekmi @ 11:00 AM  
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Meet cekmi – a confused Kelantanese man who is continuously amused by his blurry budu past and his modern chopstick life. As he moves further up towards his worldly pursuit, he moves even closer down to his original state of buduness. These are his budu tales.
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