Mistakes and miscommunication are everywhere. So don’t worry and enjoy these civilized imperfections around the world:

In a launderette:
• Drop your pants here for best results.
• Please remove your clothes when the light goes out.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

In a restaurant:
• Special – Chicken $4.00, Beef $5.00, Children $3.00
• Best sandwish in town – Buy three free one.
• Secret Recipe: Special today – no ice cream.
• Our coffee leaves you nothing to hope for.

In a zoo:
• Elephant please stay in your car.
• Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
• The river is inhabited by crocodiles. Swimming is prohibited. Survivors will be prosecuted.

In a hospital:
• No children allowed in the maternity ward.
• Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an airline ticket office:
• We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In an office bulding:
• Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

In advertisement columns:
• Wanted – man to take care of cow that does not smoke.

In a car rental centre:
• Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and you’ll never go anywhere again.

In a jewellery shop:
• Out of business. Thanks to our customers.

In a repair shop:
• We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work.)

In a toy shop:
• Doll: Laugh while you throw up.

In antique shop:
• A desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

In a swap shop:
• We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Illiterate? Write today for help.