When I wanted to put on my trousers this morning, I had a problem, er, a
happy problem - they did not fit me well. They were too loose. I looked like a fashion victim screened hideously on TMnet's TV advertisement. I tried another one. Loose. Then another. Too loose. What happened to me? Then I remembered the old trousers I long kept in my old cupboard drawers. I dug through the drawers and finally found them. Yes, they perfectly fit me. Size 29! Oh my God. Honey, I have shrunk my waist! Then, a flash of words from my friends suddenly spun around my jumbled mind.
“Did you get bullied by your new
Ummi?”
“Why Cekmi, you look so sick!”
“Last semester, you looked more macho
lah.”
“Did you not eat anything recently?”
“Hello pizza delivery boy!”
“Are you depressed?”
“I think you can win an
Anugerah Diet Negara.”
Hmmm. Maybe these people were right. I smiled. I should have taken those words as compliments, no matter what their initial intentions were.
I am happy. My plan has actually worked out. It all began after I let go my administrative position in the college and fly away, honeymooning freely like a newly-released convict. What’s more, I felt aging, so I remember thinking that I had to do something worthy for myself before I reached 30 years
old. Indeed, my physical appearances have changed tremendously since then. When I started my little mission eight months ago, I was a little pessimistic – thinking that all my efforts wouldn’t go anywhere. My initial weight was 66 kg, and now it is 53 kg. No people, it is not good enough. I have another 3 kilograms to lose. My real target is a perfect round of 50 kg, and that will be accomplished, I promise to myself, before this coming New Year’s Eve. Too ambitious? Nope.
Ops, no dear, I am not paranoid nor anorexic. And NO NO NO, I have not been into any crash diet programs recently. Excuse me darling, I never take any dietary pills. Sorry. In fact, I eat whatever I fantasize. Maybe I am just obsessed with the correct proportion of food intake. Oh, I do swim almost everyday that it has become an unstoppable passion. Sometimes, I find it quite weird when I actually feel good when I am hungry. When I share this feeling with my friends, they will usually look at me contemptuously and give me that are-you-nuts look.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting yourself?” they keep asking me. I will diplomatically answer them, “Well, I am doing this for my own personal satisfaction. I want to feel good about myself. I am happy to realize the fact that I am really taking good care of my physical beings. Moreover, I want to feel much more younger, more thrilled, and more confident.” Whoa. Did it sound so fake and artificial? Please. Hahaha.
Whenever people see me eating only a quarter of the food on my plate and ask me such classically-annoying questions like “
Kau diet ke?” or “
Eh, takkan diet kot,” I would reply boldly: “Yes, I am on diet. You got problems with that?” Yes, I do get irritated with those unsupportive remarks about my diet. Okay, especially for those who are so interested in my dietary affairs, and if you happen to read this blog, I would like to give you a hidden piece of my mind. Here is my extended answer to you:
“Why bother? Just because you cannot loose those fats in you, can you just let me do it alone? Do I make your life more miserable if I loose my weight? Or do I make you happier if I stop dieting? Just go away and eat whatever you want, and be happily obese!" Ouch.
Whenever people keep noticing the changes in my external looks, I become more passionate and determined in doing what I am doing now. I always feel the inclination to experience a lot of ‘young’ stuffs in life. Maybe Jimi was right. I am a late-boomer. You can see that in my
tak-sedar-diri hairstyle and my contact-lenses eyes. Colored? No, maybe very soon.
Oh by the way, these are my angels.
