I found these tidbits in Singapore:

A rat was running merrily at the back of Mosque Street
A cab driver refused to take a passenger unless you had their number
A graffiti was found on a building in Bugis Street
A lake could be seen while riding MRT
A beggar was roaming freely in Orchard Road
A nasi padang restaurant was located just the opposite of Bak Kut Teh.

So maybe I had to reconsider these hypothetical ‘myths’ about Singapore:

The streets are heavenly clean
The public transportation is customer-friendly
The city is vandalism-free
The city is a concrete jungle
The citizens are financially well taken care of
The halal restaurants are wiped out

Isn’t Singapore unique? Truly, my first trip to Singapore was uniquely unbelievable.


Please Let Me In

My first attempt to visit Singapore was not welcome by a glamorous red carpet. In fact, I had to go through two unexpected detours.

First, the bus I was riding was stranded for few hours in the middle of the night in the middle of PLUS highway, which could be possibly near to an old abandoned cemetery. I tried not look back as suggested by Jangan Pandang Belakang director, and I was lucky, the Jeepers Creepers were not after us.

Second, I was detained by an immigration officer in Woodlands, who claimed that there were some suspicious items in my luggage. It turned out to be Jimi’s pirated CDs. Oh Gosh, how could I not expect it? But I could not blame Jimi since both of us were unaware of the fact that I could be severely punished by Singaporean authorities over the possession of pirated materials.

“Are you Malaysian?” asked the lady officer at the checking point.
“Yes,” I answered shakily.
The lady smiled and asked me to leave.

Phew.

But I was left in trauma afterwards, realizing the possibilities that I could have been a prison-mate with international drug-traffickers in highly-efficient Singaporean jail right after, yes, my very first attempt to cross the international border using my passport for the first time, ever. For God’s sake, I could have been probed further into the FBI room but I was darn lucky because the officer in-charge was a lady who probably understood that Malaysians are synonymous with piracy, and probably considering that I looked so innocent who just wanted to enjoy his overseas trip for the first time, ever, so she just let me go. But I couldn’t help imagining that the lady might have secretly slipped a sophisticated tracking device into my luggage so she could easily follow me wherever I went, but I told myself that it was only my stupid imagination. Oh my, why couldn’t Singaporean immigration be as casual as Malaysian immigration that did not even bother to check my passport in Johor Bharu. Okay, stop worrying Cekmi. Stay focused. Look, you are about to experience another country besides Malaysia. Look, it is Singapore, really!


Let’s ride the train!

I remember my first contact with the idea of Singapore was way back in Kelantan when I was small when my mother told me that a lot of strong young men in my kampong went to Singapore to find a decent work. When they came back, they were so rich they could easily retire with a big house and a pretty wife and lots of children. Wow, Singapore must have been a paradise.

Indeed, I could experience the heavenly sights and sounds the moment I boarded the MRT after the hassle in immigration, which I tried very hard to ignore the fact I could be imprisoned for 25 years. Most of the people in the train looked so prosperous and Chinese when they looked at me I had this inferior feeling over my topsy-turvy country, that I could practically read their minds that informed each other in the train, Hey, look at that funny-looking guy with that stupid-looking rebonded hair, he must be a Malaysian who works so hard in KL but pity him, this is his first overseas trip, while we Singaporeans are more advanced than his country even though this year we are not celebrating 50 years of nationhood, but here we are in the best MRT in the world, while that 50-year-old KL has only complaining LRT users who are forced to be suffocated under the dark tunnel when it breaks down that drives them mad over the galore the Malaysian government has contributed to the nation after 50 years of nationhood. Oh, we are so glad we are Singaporeans.

When I looked outside the train, the apartments looked so modern and orderly I refused to recall the sickening images of squatter residence one could easily spot when riding a train in KL. As I was thinking of the short LRT in KL, I was suddenly amazed by the unexpected sights of greeneries and reservoirs located so naturally there in the midst of fast-moving modernity in little Singapore. How could a tiny and metal Singapore maintain those natures?

Oh, talking about modernity, I couldn’t be more impressed with the on-the-clock efficiency and convenience of its train system. The movement around the country has never been so easy that one could practically move to any place with such ease and style. It was overwhelming at first, but after some time, I enjoyed getting my coin back from the pay machine. And I wondered again how on earth the Singaporeans could be so civilized and crime-free. I was looking for some answers when I noticed the bulging CCTV cameras located almost everywhere in the MRT station. While paying the train fare at Bugis station, I actually counted the number of cameras there. One.. two.. three.. hmm…

Eleven CCTVs altogether, at the counter, alone!

Isn’t just one adequate? Well, we are dealing with Singaporeans who are supposed to possess high civic awareness, or could it be the other way around, that these Singaporeans lack this civic sense that forced the government to spend more money to install and inculcate the judging power of CCTV over its nation? And with that bulging design of camera that points right to my face, I got the message so clearly and forcefully, yes, I am looking at you Cekmi, and I know you have that mineral water inside your green bag, so don’t ever think about drinking it in the train, or else…. Oh my, this thought scared me out of my wits. I know, these cameras were supposed to make the civilians feel safer, but it might as well show that there was no trust between the authorities and the public, and crimes were successfully inhibited with those powerful devices, and in the end, Singapore is a ‘fine’ country, and this, I suppose, could be one of the secret recipes of Singaporean first-class civilization. Geniusly done.

No wonder those men who mentally mocked me in the MRT were so proud of being Singaporeans.

Ah.