Haha. So much for the fear.

Okay, one of the research questions was to investigate the potential sources of language anxiety. To do this, I selected 20 first-year Malay students of my own college, whom I approached and interviewed individually. The responses were unforgettably overwhelming.

The interview session, I suppose, was one of the most interesting and enjoyable stages in my research, due to the fact that I managed to get the voluntary responses from the ‘lucky’ students. They were in fact more than willing to share their feelings and anxieties quite openly. And they didn’t mind me snapping their pictures after the interviews. How ‘anonymous’! Look at some of these cheerful faces:

Oh, they were holding their tokens of appreciation that I gave after the interviews – e.g. lollipops! They were not really expensive, but I suppose, lollipops symbolize love and warmth, that hopefully could ease their level of anxieties. And of course, they are cute, aren't they?

Now, back to the findings. I found out that personal and interpersonal anxieties were the most common sources of anxiety cited by the students, making up 70% of the responses. These sources include, among others:

Fear of negative social evaluation
Fear of failure
Perceived proficiency
Communication apprehension
Competitiveness

Clueless? All right then. To see these fear factors more clearly, let us explore into one of those exclusive interviews. (The following interview was conducted in Malay and loosely translated into English).

Date : March 6, 2007
Time : 2.00 – 2.15 p.m.
Venue : International Islamic College, Kuala Lumpur

R: Researcher
S: Student


R: Are you afraid of learning English language?
S: Yes. I am really afraid.
R: Why?
S: I am afraid that what I say will be misunderstood by others.
R: How does it happen?
S: Whenever the lecturer asks me to present in class, I will feel so nervous. I don’t know how to organise my ideas in English.
R: Are you afraid that you do not understand what other people say in English?
S: Not really. I just feel nervous when I want to speak.
R: Have you avoided a situation that requires you to use English?
S: Yes. I used to skip English classes. I just pretend that I am sick. Whenever I see my English lecturer, I will avoid her. I am scared that I couldn’t answer her questions in English. I am really scared.
R: Is your English very poor?
S: Yes. Very poor. My lecturer said that my English is okay. But I think it is very poor. I am not confident when using English.
R: Are you afraid of being laughed at?
S: Yes. I will feel so embarrassed. I always wonder why my lecturer does not ask other smarter students. I am so scared when my lecturer asks me something in class.
R: Do you like learning environment where there is no one to judge you?
S: No. I want to learn English. But I don’t like being humiliated in class. Sometimes, the teacher makes me feel that I am always at fault.
R: Do you like learning English with your friends?
S: Yes, I do. There will be lots of ideas. I don’t mind studying with them.
R: Is there any competition among you and your friends?
S: Sometimes, we compare our results. When I get low marks, I feel so down. In last mid-term exam, I thought I could get higher marks, but I didn’t score. All my efforts seemed useless.
R: Does it worry you when you are asked to read aloud in class?
S: Yes. When my lecturer asks me to read aloud, I am worried that I will make mistakes in pronunciation. People will laugh at me when I make mistakes.
R: Are you afraid of your final exam grades?
S: Yes. Everything must be answered in English. I am so poor in grammar. I am not sure how to write. I just could not accept the fact that I am still weak in English.
R: Does it worry you that the class is conducted in English?
S: Yes. I am so afraid to respond to my lecturer.
R: Have you ever thought of failure?
S: Yes. In fact, I am thinking about it all the time. I am so scared that I will fail this paper. I couldn’t accept this failure. I don’t feel like doing it again. I used to cry thinking about this.
R: Is learning English very important for you?
S: Yes. It is important for my future employment.
R: Are you afraid of making mistakes in English?
S: Yes. I am afraid of making mistakes in English. I am not supposed to make mistakes. It is not right. For me, I must be correct all the time. Otherwise, people will laugh at me.
R: How do see your progress in your English class?
S: I think my English level remains the same. It has not improved at all. I am not satisfied with this. I am so disappointed with my marks.
R: Are you close with your lecturer?
S: Yes. I always ask her in class. She recognizes me by name. She always asks me to read aloud. My friends usually laugh at me, but she understands my problem. She never laughs at my mistakes. She is so sporting.
R: Is she important in your learning?
S: Yes, very much. She can correct my mistakes and teach me more about grammar. It can be embarrassing sometimes, but it is okay because I can learn something. If I study alone, I would never know if I make any error.
R: Does anxiety affect your language learning?
S: Yes.
R: What do you do to reduce this anxiety?
S: During an oral presentation, for example, I just pretend that there is no one in the class. I want to see only my lecturer’s face. If someone asks me a question, I imagine that the question comes from my lecturer’s mouth.
R: Do your parents support your studies?
S: Yes. They encourage me to study harder especially English course. I used to learn English with my brothers and sisters.
R: What can the college do to improve this situation?
S: There should be a campaign that can motivate students to speak English more confidently.
R: What else should you do?
S: I should read more and try to speak English with my friends.

** interview ends **

Now tell me honestly dear readers, are you afraid of English language? Come and be one of my subjects.

Labels: cekmi's linguistic fever