My journey continued to Bangkok, the city of Eastern Angels – bad and good.

It cost me 12 hours riding on a VIP bus. However, I was bemused most of the time with the services offered by a chubby-yet-friendly ‘stewardess’. During the bus ride, I was offered with seemingly endless foods and drinks. There was a time when all the passengers were asked to get off the bus and ushered to a restaurant. Briefing was done by the same ‘stewardess’ but I couldn’t understand a word because she spoke in Thai. It turned out that, from my rough observation, the passengers were reminded about their discipline and punctuality. For approximately 15 minutes, all the passengers were seated in well-decorated tables and chairs, served with delicious Thai foods, and hurried into the bus immediately. All these were carried out in an amazingly well-coordinated timekeeping manner, which I had never seen before in any long-distant journey on a bus.

Amazing people. Amazing rule. How did they do that?


Hello Bangkok

The bus stopped at the Southern Routes Bus Terminal. Derek and I took a taxi to the nearest MRT station. If you asked about my first impression of Bangkok, I would say that it was a just normal crowded city with a lot of back-street concepts of urban lifestyles. Most parts of the city looked worn-out with a thick amount of electric wires or cables hanging hazardously on people’s heads, as if they were about to fall and entangle people’s bodies and kill them with the excessive voltage. Nonetheless, I was baffled most by the Rama VIII Bridge that resembled our own Penang Bridge, and the Democracy Monuments which reminded me of Dataran Al-Quran in Kota Bharu.

The taxi driver dropped us at the Hua Lamphong station, near the Bangkok Railway Station. I took a glimpse at the station and was taken aback by the grand size of its waiting hall and the church-like design of its roofs. I got into the MRT which was typically packed. I learnt later that the MRT, plus the BTS Skytrain, covered only half of Bangkok, which shocked me because I thought they traveled throughout the city, just like Singapore. But, in a way, it was good since I had a chance to travel through real and dangerous streets in Bangkok using more adventurous transportations like tuk tuks or taxis. And taxis here are a lot cheaper and easily hailed with no double charge after midnight. One thing for sure, I wouldn’t face the trouble of getting a taxi here, unlike Singapore.

Derek and I stopped at Silom station and settled in Sapphirtel Inn at Soi Silom 22/1, Silom Road. Silom Road is said to be equivalent to the Wall Street in the USA, a business district filled with trendy restaurants and shops all around. So, I didn’t waste my time resting in the comfortable inn, as I excitedly rushed to explore the lively streets. I chose to walk and use the map – yes, the map – this was my sole guidance, my bible. With that map with me all the time, getting around Bangkok streets was not that bad, not as daunting as my friends had reminded me about the delirious city. Every time I got confused with the streets, I would not be easily panicky and anxiously ask the Thais around who hardly spoke in English. Instead, I would stay calm and just look at the map and be contented with it. I would normally find my own way back to the desired places. Alhamdulillah, with this strategy and principle, I had never physically gotten lost in Bangkok.


The Good Erawan

That first day in Bangkok, Derek and I walked together along Ratchadamri Road and we passed Lumphini Park, which looked stunning in the afternoon setting. Being head-over-heels in love with lakes, I couldn’t wait to explore the park.

“Let’s talk a walk around the park,” I said. “It looks beautiful”
“It is just a lake,” Derek said, giving me his boring look.
“I really want to go there, Derek.”
“Is there a toilet here?” he said, looking around for a clue. “I need to go to the toilet.”
I was impatient. Our communication was at its critically low point.

Soon after that, we passed Erawan Shrine which is dedicated to the Hindu God, Phra Phrom. It is a must-visit shrine for all devotees including Buddhists, who came regularly here asking for luck and other favors. As a Buddhist, Derek took this opportunity to pray.

I hoped that one of Derek’s prayers was to put our relationship in a better shape. But he must have violated some of the prayer rules because the condition between us deteriorated in the following hours. But before it happened, both of us managed to get a superior glance at two superior malls in Bangkok – Siam Paragon and Emporium. I decided not to dig into the malls since shopping was not one of my motives. We strolled lazily along Sukhumvit Road and Ratchadaphisek Road when I found another lake, Benjakiti Park.

Not wanting to miss another beauty of a lake garden, I quickly marched through the lake while Derek followed behind me. He looked tired and said seriously, “I want to take a rest first. You can walk alone. I will catch you later. You walk so slow, I think I can catch you.”

So I walked, slowly.


The Eruption of Patpong

Patpong near Surawong Road was a place filled with exciting pandemonium and chaos. This was Bangkok’s main night entertainment district which was popular for its vibrant night bazaar. Surrounded by alluring discotheques and go-go bars, it was matter a choice for a wandering soul to seek for pleasures. “SEX DVD” signs were everywhere; the chatty businessmen were aggressive, pulling you forcefully to their bars. “Five minutes only!” they would say, persuading you so sweetly to unleash your wild imagination, making you feel defenseless. The shirts sold at the bazaar were printed with all sorts of amusingly provocative remarks ranging from “Sorry girls, I am gay” and “I am horny”. The women were throwing some sort of rubber that resembled the objects you don’t want to know. They were all ready with calculators, ready for body-language bargain, and insults would be granted if you refused to buy. “I don’t want your thank-you, I want your money. Fuck you!” I scurried away from the shop, shocked and scared.

It was a bizarre kaleidoscope.

It was at this very same place that Derek and I came to a solution regarding our frustrating relationship – we finally agreed to ‘break up’. After a series of explosive cat-and-dog fights, we decided to go on traveling on our own ways, putting an end to all the troubles and miseries I had been putting up with him for the past five days. The time-bomb finally erupted.

“I would never travel with you again,” he said.
“Of course,” I answered, determined and confident.


Happily Alone

The following day, I left Derek in the hotel room and roamed around the city with a new and fresh perspective. Walking alone in the Bangkok city, I felt so thankful for making it so far, even though there was no one to accompany me. I texted my friends in Malaysia and received a lot of mixed responses:

“You will survive, don’t worry. Just enjoy yourself ok.”
“I know you will do well.”
“Go visit the palace, temples, saunas, massage, Patpong, Khao San Road, Chatuchak. I am sure alone is better as what I have experienced. But take extra care.”
“There are just so many experiences in Bangkok. We experience what we want and willing to experience.”
“You are in Bangkok - the city of eastern angels. You’d be inspired.”
“Put the problem aside and enjoy the holidays ahead of you!”

With all this support and inspiration in mind, I pulled myself together and started all over again. Indeed, I was about to discover the places that I had wanted to go.


Lumphini Charms

I was overjoyed to be walking along the park after my request was denied by Derek the previous day. I truly enjoyed the scenery, the smell and the peace that the lake offered. As I was cruising, I was approached by a middle-aged white man who came from the opposite side.

“Hello there.” He said, smiling.
“Hi,” I answered shakily. He looked at me directly and asked, “Are you alone?”
“Er, yes.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“Okay. But I am not a money boy, okay.” We both laughed.

After some time, we became good friends and talked a lot about serious issues and life experiences. He is a Frenchman who migrated to Bangkok and has been living there for two years. It found it unbelievable for a man from a developed country to migrate to such an unlikely favourable place like Bangkok.

“There is something here that you cannot find in Paris – the humane aspect,” he said, so wisely I didn’t believe that I had been talking to a wise stranger in a strange place after being dumped by my own travel-mate.

However, the true saviour for my solitary day was not that French guy. It was Lily.


Lily: The Pretty Saviour

Yes, Lily also happened to be in Bangkok. It was such a dramatic coincidence. We both came to Thailand separately to celebrate our own same-date birthdays, but with the twist of fate and luck, we finally met in the city of Bangkok, right after I met Thierry at Lumphini Park. I didn’t how it happened, but God seemed to listen to my prayer and sent Lily to save my life there.

Her presence truly made my day. Together, Lily and I traveled giddily along Chao Phraya River using the tourist boat. The journey along the river was breathtaking. From Sathorn Pier to Phra Arthit Pier, we were profoundly fascinated by the mesmerizing sights of Temple of Dawn, Wichaiya Prasit Fortress, Santa Cruz Church and Memorial Bridge.

From Ratchawong Pier, we got out of the boat and walked merrily to Yaowarat Road where another world of merriment awaited us. Located in Chinatown, walking along Yaowarat Road was tiring yet fun. It was a bustling trading district for all kinds of products, prominently jewelries and all that. Lily couldn’t get her composed when looking at the wild assortments of cute little things along the endless streets. Each time she found an interesting shop, she would pull my shirt forcefully and moaned over it.

“Cekmi, comelnya.”
“Cekmi, cutenya.”
“Cekmi, iiii….”
“Cekmi, uuu…”

It was annoying but it was, at the same time, pleasant. Her wailing made my heart melt with warmth and joy.

Soon, we found ourselves in the middle of Pharurat Road. It was a shopping district famous for its low-priced clothes and textiles where retailers were mostly locals of Indian ancestry. Then, we passed a famous wholesale flower market called Pak Klong Tarad. The smell of flowers filled up our noses, as we were rushing to get the last boat to the Central Pier.

After an exhausting walk, we realized that we shopped nothing since we had been preoccupied with talking and laughing and sightseeing and joking and kidding and giggling and sobbing, that when we reached at the end of the road with empty hands, nothing mattered as long as we were together, bringing home full hands of unforgettable memories in such exotic places in Bangkok.

But wait, our journey did not end there. After dusk, we headed to Siam Paragon to celebrate our birthdays together. It was a belated celebration, but it was my first official celebration with a cake that I bought myself. Pathetic, wasn’t it? Well, it was not a fancy 5-tier cake, but a normal doughnut-size cake.

Birthday Boy

Birthday Girl

Labels: cekmi's inspiring adventures

Afterward, we cruised into some major roads filled with a lot eye-catching bars and discotheques along Bang La Road and Rath-U-Thit Road. At 12 midnight, Derek and I were enjoying our little drinks outside a bar. I received the first official oral birthday wish from Derek who seemed to be the only one I knew at that particular moment on a foreign land. Thanks Derek. The SMSes then kept coming and I was busy replying them that I ignored the inviting sights inside the bar - some attractive big shows by some attractive people in Phuket. Derek looked at my wild SMSing behavior and said: “Whoa, you so rich, ar? You replied all the SMS.” Goddammmit. Can you leave me alone? This is my proud moment and you are talking about the cost?

Not long after that, Derek seemed lost into the jiggles and wiggles of the deafening music, savouring his animalistic movements, making me smile with ecstasy. We were both having our good times, at least for tonight. Another life had just begun. Happy Birthday Cekmi. You have no idea what you are about to find out soon.


Free Riders

The following day, I woke up late, smiling at my new age with dignity. Last night was great. I wanted to make it even greater that day. I wanted to explore the whole island and do it adventurously. How did it do it? I rented a motorbike.

Phuket’s Mat Rempit hehe

While we were cruising through the island, there was an awe-inspiring place that really tested my imagination – Kata View Point. From this point, I was sumptuously feasted by a breathtaking view of Phuket beaches and bays. Gazing at this panoramic sight deeply evoked my emotion, making me feel truly blessed to be there on my birthday. I was high with the visual pleasures that nothing would hinder towards my search for happiness, until Derek interrupted and asked for my favour.

“Can you take my picture?” he said. I took his expensive digital camera and snapped his best shot. But, as usual, he was unhappy with it and said that he looked ugly with that shot done by me, that his hair looked terrible, that his smile looked crooked, and he would ask me to do it again. The process repeated for a few times until he looked at himself in the digital photo and said, “Hmm… okay-lah.” And I would be so irritated with his behavior and said almost sarcastically: “Do you want to take the picture of the beautiful island or the picture of your beautiful self?” He would ignore my comment and kept admiring at his own gorgeousness from the picture and bragged about how he had successfully maintained his youthfulness at the age of 30 and he would then talk about his concern about his fading years of being a macho hunk. I felt sorry for his low self-esteem who seemed to be worried and obsessed about his external looks rather than admiring the spectacular views around him.

On the way back to Patong Beach, we stopped at a market that sold and displayed a lot of haphazard-looking foods and vibrant clothes. I tried a delicious roasted banana, yummy. I enjoyed the cacophony of the market that it reminded me of Wakaf Che Yeh bazaar in Kota Bharu, Kelantan. It was such an enchanting sight where I could observe the real myriads and colours among the beautiful people of Phuket.

Before returning to our hotel, I told Derek that I really wanted to swim at the Patong Beach. I tried to convince him that going to Phuket without even exploring the sea was useless. But Derek forbade me, telling me almost dismissively that the beach was dirty and potentially dangerous. I was adamant. I didn’t care about the dirt and the danger because I just wanted to feel the breeze and warmth of the Phuket bays. What use would it be after traveling so far and seeing the whole island but you couldn’t even play around the beach? If that’s the case, I would rather go to local beaches like an old Port Dickson or a sickening Tanjung Bidara, where I would be easily allowed to cruise through the sea, even though they are not as famous as Patong Beach.

In the end, Derek gave in me to my request. I decided not to swim though because it looked daunting. So I was just strolling along the sea, alone, while Derek was waiting for me on a bench nearby. As I was walking alone there, I was pondering upon my recent life which seemed blank without almost anyone to share my happiness with. I might be too independent that I wouldn’t open up myself to anyone, that no one would even consider me as their company, not even Derek who was supposed to be there for me, but he wasn’t. It was a lonely walk that symbolized my life as a single birthday boy, at 31.

Gimme a Break!

It was our last night in Phuket and Derek requested me to go to the same bar again that we went to the previous night. He had been so engrossed with the wild excitements of Phuket nightlife. I thought I had enough of it. But I might consider, I said to Derek who seemed so hopeful. But I was too tired of driving the motorbike and cruising the island the whole day, while he was sitting there conveniently behind me, that all I wanted at that time was a good night’s sleep. Not to disappoint his libido whims, I asked him to allow me to sleep for a few minutes to regain my energy.

However, after some time, I couldn’t get up. I weakly told him that I was too exhausted I couldn’t possibly follow him and I hoped that he would understand my condition. He didn’t say a word. I was half sleeping when I saw Derek with his stoned face, and all his body languages saying: “Wake up Cekmi, you moron sonofabitch!” Of course he did not say that, but I could feel his anger. It was not my intention to spoil his anticipation for another wild ride in a bar, but I was just too tired. In the end, I gave in to his body language demands.

“Okay, let’s do it Derek. Let’s party tonight. I just pretend that I am tired. Just kidding, haha...” I told him lightheartedly, hoping that it would cheer things up. But he looked at me sulkily and said, “You are so selfish, Cekmi. How could you be so insensitive towards my feelings?” I was confused. So now, am I the one who is selfish? How about my feelings? Shouldn’t you be more sensitive with my physical condition and be less selfish? Oh my, I did not want to prolong this newly popped-up issue, so we headed quickly to the bar and had fun, just like he wanted. I spent the whole night looking at his happy face and overjoyed behaviour in the bar. Despite the fact that I was pushing my body over the limit, in an odd way, I was happy for him.


Leaving and Surviving

No swimming please…

On the last morning in Phuket, I managed to get a final good glimpse of the Patong Beach and spend the last few hours there, alone again, while Derek was still dozing off on his comfortable bed, gaining his energy back after a wild night. It was still raining and freezing, but I just walked along the soggy beach, soaked and drenched, still wishing hard for a last-minute swim into the sea. But it was to no avail – the beach was too wild and wavy. It had been three exhausting days in Phuket, where I had been struggling between Derek’s catastrophic behaviours and Phuket’s forbidden beauty. If this condition persisted, I was not sure whether I would be able to continue traveling. I didn’t know whether I could make it in Bangkok.

With this tiring issue in mind, I packed my luggage and headed to the Phuket Town to get a bus ticket to Bangkok. I clutched a 14-kilogram bag and had difficulties carrying it that Derek gave another annoying comment about my luggage, questioning about the motive of my excessive luggage. I said it was problem, that I would never ask him to carry my giant luggage.

The bus would depart at 6 pm, so we had plenty of time to waste together in the town, and I had a number of hours to cherish or to suffer with. We toured around the town and I took a lot of pictures for him while he kept complaining about his ugly-looking hair and tired complexion. I acted as if Derek was not there and tried to focus and admire the old charms of the town. We were still walking together, only we were now strangers, not friends anymore. Somehow, I did not know him anymore. It was such a pathetic situation. It was supposed to be the time when I should be sharing my marvelous thoughts about the travel with someone, but he just walked past me, expressionless, leaving behind the wonderful classics of the town, uncommented and unappreciated. He might be thinking that Phuket Town was nothing compared to London. Poor Cekmi, he had never been to Europe and look at him now, admiring over the old rocks and worn-out buildings that are useless and worthless.

While cruising around the town, I spotted a Chinese noodle restaurant and wanted to supply my energy there. Derek refused to go in since he was doubtful about its halalness. It was funny since I was the one who was supposed to be concerned about this matter, but I was impatient with his hesitance and indecisiveness that I marched towards the restaurant without his approval. I reasoned later that we had already been in a complicated backbacking situation that we couldn’t afford to be choosy and critical about food choices. As long as I did not eat pork, I assured him.

We were finally on the bus to Bangkok and I was praying very hard that Bangkok would have something better in store for Derek and me, that it would put our already strained relationship at ease.

Hello Bangkok! Here I come.

Labels: cekmi's inspiring adventures

Sawadekaap!

My first stop in Thailand was Had Yai, the commercial centre of Southern Thailand and a popular weekend destination for visitors from Malaysia. It is located 1300 kilometres from Bangkok and about 50 kilometres from Pedang Besar on the Malaysian border. After 9 hours of midnight bus ride from KL, I reached there early in the morning, only to be assaulted by travel agents who rudely pushed me around to get into their dusty tuktuks. I gave in to their forceful demand which later infuriated Derek since, according to him, I shouldn’t have followed the agents so easily. He was right because I was too gullible when it comes to traveling and I could be loosely tricked. It was my second overseas trip and, conversely, Derek had been traveling to so many foreign countries, including some of the major European cities, so he must have experienced a lot of things that were still alien to me. Having realised this, I wanted him to guide me. Well, this was my first mistake.

At this point, Derek and I had to make an important decision whether we should stay overnight in Had Yai or proceed to Phuket at once. I explained to him that we shouldn’t waste spending our night in Had Yai which, judging from my first impression, failed to turn me on and so I suggested that we should go to Phuket right away on that very morning. I looked at Derek for approval, but he looked untroubled and, to my shock, let me make the decision by my own since, according to his wisdom, “You have done the research and you should know what’s happening here better than me.” I was quite disturbed with his playing-safe response since we were travel-mates and we should work like a team and therefore make mutual decisions together. For me, both of us should be responsible in all situations that we were about to endure. In addition, he was not supposed to blame me if things went wrong since we were backpacking, not on some kind of well-planned tours, so there would be a lot random decisions to be made. But surprisingly, he blamed me for not planning our travel well and consequently put me in a very difficult situation.

“You are the lecturer, but your level is here,” he said, showing me his right hand below his stomach. I was so offended by his judgmental attitude and brutal honesty that I directly told him that his remark was terribly insulting that he shouldn’t attack on my profession since it had nothing to do with traveling to Thailand. I started to smell trouble.

At last, we bought the bus ticket to Phuket at 8.30am, spent only few hours in Had Yai, decided not to explore the potentially terrorized city, only tasted its battered bus terminal that looked abandoned for years. After exchanging ringgit Malaysia to Thailand Baht, which was far more expensive than we had thought, we quickly got into the bus, leaving behind shattered Had Yai with bitter memories of assault and insult.

Sucking Journey

The 10-hour daylight journey to Phuket was tiresome, but I entertained myself by admiring the greeneries proudly lining along the road and being amused by the constant sounds of bus screeches and human cries and all that, ignoring the endless complaints from Derek who repeatedly bragged like an old broken machine, saying that he would rather be on a much more comfortable MAS flight from KLIA to Phuket International Airport rather than riding a bumpy bus that painfully swelled his smooth ass. I smiled and pitied for his physical and emotional depression, and started to think that he is such a spoilt, pampered rich boy who does not possess the right spirit of backpackership that takes great pleasures out of haphazardness and inconvenience. Such a nuisance, so I thought. But I reminded myself that I had to be stronger and bear with this possible trouble-maker since he could be part of the challenges that I had to face while traveling, hoping that it would add to my future excitements. I prayed that I was right.

After being on a long 500-kilometre ride, we reached Phuket Town around 6pm. It was drizzling. Oh no, another bad decision of mine – I came at a wrong season. Derek must be mad again. I looked around the bus terminal for a transport to Patong Beach, the very place where I would spend my birthday’s eve that night.

“Don’t follow any agent!” Derek suddenly reminded me. Thanks Derek, now you are the decision-maker. We ended up riding a tuktuk which I found thrilling since I could feel the breeze of the island while I mesmerized myself with the beautiful sights along the journey, a typical Cekmi. While I was regaling myself with newly-found beauty of Phuket, Derek interrupted: “You know the hotel we are going to check-in, right?” I nodded, expressionless. It was such an irritating interrogation, knowing that this was my first time there, so how could I possibly be expert about everything on the island? Yes, I did conduct my so-called thorough research about Phuket, but I might not know all about the details, and when I was on the island, I preferred to explore it and challenged myself with the unknown. The fact that he totally depended on me and possibly blamed me for all wrong things was absurdly unacceptable and fucking annoying.


Phuket Dream

Keeping away the torment from Derek, I was still able to get over-ecstatic with the dangerously-constructed hilly roads and disorganized composition of Phuket that I found it almost pathetic for not being able to share these beautifully old charms immediately with anyone who could appreciate my queer sensitivity and poetic romanticism. I couldn’t share it with Derek who seemed to think that Paris was more elegant than Phuket Island.

I tried to recall some facts about Phuket: It is located in the Andaman Sea, 885 kilometres from Bangkok, the “Pearl of the South”, Thailand’s largest island covering some 810 square km with tropical vegetation, long sandy beaches, limestone cliffs and forested hills that make Phuket a magnificent holiday resort.

Wow! Here I am, on one and only Phuket Island, on my birthday’s eve! What an exotic destination to grace my new age with, to commemorate my mother’s suffering 31 years ago, to look back at my life and be proud of it, and to look forward at my future life, and be able to say, there I was, on the Phuket Island, alive at 31, thanks mommy, ya be da be doo…

I cried happily in silence, looking at Derek for a hint of slight understanding, but he was sad-looking, probably sulking over the fact that he was riding a primitive transport, not a posh taxi with a good-looking chauffeur in Barcelona.

My pre-matured, disoriented happiness was suspended when I finally arrived in Patong Beach and checked-in at the hotel called Chong-ko. For the following three days and two nights, I would be celebrating my 31st birthday in Phuket. With Derek.

Labels: cekmi's inspiring adventures

Labels: cekmi's disorienting rumbles

Phew!
You are alive.
Single.
Steady.
Thank God.

Lotsa Love.
Bangkok, Thailand

Labels: cekmi's gracious wishes