I had a new perspective on Indonesian stuffs, as I started to see something different about Indon cultures - foods, music, movies, etc. (I always had this negative perception towards Indon-related products). Thanks to my Padang-born ex-housemate.

I was introduced to a lot of his kind Indonesian friends and wonderful family. I learned a good lesson from him. “Never abandon our silaturrahim and ukhuwwah with people we love,” he always said to me.

*sigh*

But, there were things about him which I was not quite comfortable with. He was kind of disorganized and hasty. “I am bad timekeeper,” he explained to me one day when he was late for lunch. But, the most unforgiving moment was when he left the house at night, unlocked! When I got back, I was panicked to death, thinking that my house was broken in and robbed. How angry I was at that time, wishing that I could chase him out of the house immediately.

And my angry wish came true not so long after that incident. Things started to change so dramatically when he decided to get married and moved together with his wife. It was a sudden decision. But, I was not really affected since I had been living my life all by myself before. Of course, I could do it all over again. For my ex-housemate, I pray that you will find peace and happiness in your marriage. I am thankful for having you as my super ex-housemate, even for only three months.

And here I am again in the house, contentedly alone.

“Why didn’t you blog, Cekmi?” Cekya asked me a few weeks ago during my sudden disappearance from blogging world. I bluntly answered, “I am happy.”

Well, I did not mean to offend my fellow bloggers, but somehow, I just did not feel the urge to blog during those “comfortable” moments. Neither did I claim that blogging is for losers, since I don’t think my blogshabats and I are losers, aren’t we? But, at that particular moment, I somehow felt better not to blog at all. I was just selfishly contented with myself. In fact, I was just enjoying moments of relief and happiness. But, what has made me happier?

Okay, sorry to disappoint you guys, but I am not engaged to any Datins.

The secret?

Three months ago, I made one of the most significant professional decisions in my life – I quit my managerial position.

With my passionate creativity, my long-abandoned workplace now becomes more homely and inviting. The moment I decided to quit being a manager, I worked really hard to transform my old office into a customized heavan. A large photo frame illustrates the fond memories with students, two round mirrors symbolize my double happiness (hopefully here and hereafter), four cactuses remind me of the beauty of life, pictures all over the place take me back to past life – all of them are the outer manifestation of my sheer determination to pursue happiness in my personal and professional life.

Second, I walked much more slowly these days.

Not so long ago, my life had been so hectic and frenzied. I used to walk so fast, banging doors after doors around the college so bossily, surprising people with my cockroach-style attitude, all in the name of perfect accomplishments of my long daily to-do lists. But now, I walk lazily like a retired man, appreciating the nature and surrounding more and more. I started to notice people around me and what is happening around. There have been a lot of meaningful non-verbal communications that I have become aware of, such as simple hello from students, those little gestures that convey a lot of colorful messages.

Thirdly, I don’t need excessive to-do lists anymore to guide my life.

That grants me more freedom and flexibility to lead my life. And that also rewards me with instant pleasures to do things that I long to do without a tight schedule. Life without plan can be so exciting. No worries. No pressures. Just do it (like Nike motto). I am now able to enjoy doing one thing at one time.

Fourth, I’ve got more time for myself and my friends.

I was surprised when one of my colleagues honestly told me that she hated me so much because I hardly smiled and was so cold towards her. But now, things have changed. We are close friends. I’ve got more time for friends around. In fact, I have been doing lots of stuffs with them.

Sixth, I have a happier lifestyle.

I spend more time doing things that I want. For example, swimming has been part of my enjoyable habits. What’s more, I have been enjoying my diet plan and I, so far, have lost 8 kilograms! Everyday, I received lighthearted comments like “You look skinnier,” or “You look more cheerful,” or “You look younger,” and other young-related amusing remarks. That makes me frowned, flattered and smile even more. My bony cheeks look shinier that somebody has to put on a big shade later. Hah!

So, I have made my choice that has made me happier.

Yes. At least partially. Why don't you?

A thousand million smile (Pic: Courtesy of Cekya)

It was not Cekmi’s fault. If only I could cry for help, this tragedy would never have happened. But such was not the case, and there I was, I regret to say, lying motionless.

The user’s guide describes me as “a stylish design that flatters your individuality while its intelligent functionality complements your lifestyle in every way.” As if that were not enough appeal, I am also advertised as being “fashioned just for you, if individuality is a part of life.” But I am no longer part of Cekmi’s life because last night, on 14th of September 2006, just three months before my first birthday, a hideous thing happened… I died. There. I could see the possible tragic headline in The Star today: “Nokia Mercilessly Drowned in a Washing Machine.”

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Nokia 3230. Yes, for God’s sake, I am a handphone, a supposedly inanimate thing. But, as you can see now, after I died, I am reincarnated and can, for the first time, speak up for myself.

My master’s name is Cekmi. He is really a good man. He bought me on 24th of December 2005 at Cheras, and since then, he had been taking care of me like a precious baby. He adores me like he adores Siti Nurhaliza. Paid cash RM1200, I then became Cekmi’s priceless asset. He chose me mainly because of my integrated 1.3 megapixel camera with multi-zoom. With this gadget, he used me with passion by expressing himself through panaromic shots and memorable snaps with friends and family.

It was sunset on Pulau Perhentian. The ocean was slowly descending so that I could see mountains of dead corals appeared clearly above the sea. Walking on those corals was never a good idea, but I did it anyway. I walked so carefully so that my feet would not get hurt, and most important, I didn’t want to get caught by the local authorities for possible crimes of marine life destruction. Gross, funny-looking black jellies were everywhere. I was scared of them until my friend told me that they were sea cucumbers. “It is edible and nutritious,” my Chinese friend said. “It is really delicious.” I refused to imagine.

Right there, in the middle of dead corals, I could feel the cool breeze. The enchanting twilight captivated my whole emotions. Soon, I felt the music of life breathing through all my senses. It was truly a novel experience.

Confession Night

The first night on Pulau Perhentian was memorable. After having a barbeque, all twelve of us gathered together by the beach around a bonfire. It was time for confession! Each one of us had to say something serious, either good or bad, about each other. I found the comments rather awkward since some of us just met the previous day and therefore hardly knew each other.

The forced confessions, however, were pretty amusing particularly when it came to some astonishing remarks about me. Himitsu, my recently-met friend, said that I was a little arrogant and sombong, which I honestly agreed and promised myself to improve on this declared attitude. The winning statement came from Alan, my guardian angel, who claimed that I was a hard-core perfectionist. This is 150% true which accounts for almost all of my psychotic behaviours over imperfect turnouts of almost anything I plan in life. Describing my love life, Alan nakedly revealed, “Poor Cekmi, he is very lonely now.” I wish he knew how lonely I have been.

Poison Box

The much-anticipated moment of that night was a game called Poison Box. I was previously assigned by the organizer to prepare some ridiculous tasks written on pieces of paper and put them in a so-called poisonous box. I enjoyed preparing those tasks, thinking of my power to make fun of my friends. During the game, everybody passed around the box while the music was played and once the music was stopped, those “lucky” ones had to pick the paper and did whatever stupidly instructed. It was time of feeling-good embarrassments since everybody had to do something silly – an angry pontianak, a racing mat rempit, a heartbroken lover, a playboy in a disco, a TV3 newscaster, a charismatic politician, a contestant for One in a Million, just to name a few.

I thought I could escape from those humiliations, but I was cursed by my own creativity. I had to perform, not one but, two embarrassing actions. The first poisonous paper said, “You are auditioning for an actor. Act happy, sad, angry and scared.” Okay, it was easy. But the second one was tougher. It said, “You have just won a Miss Universe title. Act like one.” After the “glamorous” show, I vowed I would never organize a game like this anymore. However, the climax of the night was Alan’s turn when he had to act like a woman who had just delivered her first baby. It was hilariously wild! And, oh, thanks to my imaginative ideas. After all, it was a night to remember. Friendship was certainly formed and successfully cherished.

Snorkelling

On the following day, I woke up early to jog and enjoy the sunrise. However, the sky was a little cloudy so I couldn’t watch the rising sun. We then played volleyball and my team won the game - 50-24! Hah! I was the “professional” referee anyway.

After having breakfast, we proceeded to our next plan – snorkeling. That was my first experience in snorkeling. Paid RM35 each, we were sent by the snorkeling guide to three heavenly spots where we could find rarefied corals. Seeing the fascinating corals and multi-colored fishes, I felt like I was in a gigantic aquarium. It was almost unbelievable. Tempted by the irresistible corals, I tried to dive into the bottom of the sea and hoped to get some of them. I managed to get one beautiful purple coral, but when I tried to push myself up to the surface, my palm was injured when I touched the sharp coral. To make things worse, I was bitten by jellyfish and, soon, I found red spots everywhere on my body. I guess, that was the punishment for distorting the marine life. Despite these uncomfortable circumstances, the whole snorkeling experience was indeed unforgettable and self-fulfilling.

Long Beach

I planned to be on the Long Beach on the night of my birthday. It is on the Pulau Kecil so I had to take a boat to go there which cost me RM45. Only seven people agreed to follow me while the rest were uninterested. I was a little down since I had imagined that everybody would be there celebrating the first moment of my 30th year. I was, nonetheless, managed to get myself composed again and went on with my plan.

We arrived at the Long Beach at 8.00pm and were greeted by bright lights of fancy pubs-cum-restaurants. Long Beach is well known by its happening hangout places where Mat Salehs were a common sight. We were looking for restaurants with loud music but were told by the locals that they were only opened after 10.00pm. So, we went roaming into all souvenir shops to pass the time. We passed an elegant roof-top restaurant and decided to hang out there only to realize later that we were the only “coloreds” among all the “whites”. We left the restaurant quickly and found another local-like restaurant. We sat there, played another stupid game until 12 o’clock struck, signing the beginning of another older year for me. So, I celebrated my birthday with seven friends on Long Beach. It was not a grand celebration, but it was so meaningful for me. I wasn’t alone.

Birthday Surprises

The boat took us back to our chalet at 12.30am. It was a frightening ride since the wind was madly strong and the ocean was deadly wild that set our boat into almost a topsy-turvy position. What scared me most was that we were in the middle of the dark ocean and were not putting on our safe jackets. When we arrived on the big island, I was trembling with fear and deeply relieved that I was not drowned on my birthday night. What a birthday surprise!

But the surprise did not end there. My friends who stayed on the chalet threw a small party for me – a slice of cake (that will do on the island) with three little candles. They gave me a beautiful necklace (which I had not worn any for ages), a unique bangle and a sea-decorated magnet. Again, it was not a grand celebration, but it was so meaningful for me. I wasn’t again alone.

They asked me to perform something as I had reluctantly promised. But I refused since I was not in the show-me-the-money mood. I finally did it anyway, but only at a later time. I will tell you later about it.

Shooting Stars

At 2.00am, I still couldn’t sleep. So, I sat alone outside of my chalet, doing nothing, with my mind spinning around a lot of confusing thoughts. Becoming 30 was so suffocating, so I thought. Later I found that three friends of mine were still awake. We decided to hang out by the beach. Four of us were looking together above the sky. If I were looking for a perfect night with a perfect sky, it would be that very moment on my birthday night. The sky was full of bright stars. Suddenly, I caught a shooting star. It was the first ever encounter in my whole life. It was an amazing coincidence, that I saw a shooting star on my birthday night! What a blessing! I wish even harder when I saw another shooting star, then another, then another, then another, then another, until I was tired and lost counting. I slept that night with full of shooting-star wishes. Those rare moments were truly overwhelming.

"I Will Survive!"

On the following morning, my friend asked me to join them for breakfast but I refused since I was too tired and wanted to sleep more. Later, I had a horrible dream – all my friends were checking out of the chalet and leaving me alone on the island. So, I got up hysterically and was thankful to find that they were still having breakfast. I guess the bondage between my friends and me became so strong at that time that I was afraid of the not-so-soon farewell exit.

Before we left the island, everybody said something over a friend’s expensive handy cam. When it came to my turn, I called for everyone’s attention and melancholically said, “I would like to thank everyone here for making my birthday celebration a memorable one. I know now that I will survive in whatever age I am since I have all of you here as my friends. And I still owe you something. So, I will perform something for you here, right now!”

So, in the middle of the beach, with other strangers around looking curiously at me, I played a song “I Will Survive” from my hand phone and mime them, acting like a cabaret singer. What a gross show! I surely left the island with treasured memories.

The Journey Home

The journey home was as exciting as the journey to the island. There were a lot of shops along the road in Kuala Besut selling all sorts of keropok and we bought them like crazy. Then, we stopped by again at a friend’s house in Padang Mokkan and had an elaborate lunch. I abandoned for a while my diet plan since my favourite dish was there – daging goreng kunyit!

On our way back, we went to Rantau Panjang and shopped. I got myself two extra cheap shirts as tokens of remembrance. After shopping for two hours, I drove toward Tanah Merah, and I realized that I was going to drive past my parent’s house. It was already late in the evening and everybody wanted to arrive in KL by midnight. I was not sure whether I wanted to drop by. But, I decided to pop in and see my father for a few minutes. It was totally out of plan. I couldn’t believe when I saw my house right on the day of my birthday, the very place I was born 30 years ago! I was in seventh heaven, elated and overjoyed.

I finally arrived at my loveless house in KL at 5.00am. I was extremely tired, but the experiences were so delightful I couldn’t stop smiling for days, that tiredness meant nothing compared to what I gained spiritually, that I didn’t know how to express them in words. But as you can see now, what an elaborate narration for an entry!

Indeed, the whole journey was overwhelming, full of novelty.

My 30th birthday celebration was unexpectedly pleasurable.

It was unexpected since I thought the trip to Pulau Perhentian was called off due to a lot of maddening circumstances – the bus tickets were sold out, the accommodation was not confirmed, so many people withdrew, etcetra etcetra. However, with strong will and determination, we managed to get things started.

The Ride

Three days before my birthday, twelve of us departed from Kuala Lumpur using three cars, including mine. I refused at first because my car is a 1.3 Manual car which is not so energetic for a long journey. But, I gave in because I didn’t want to be fussy anymore. But I got mad again because everybody wasn’t punctual. We were supposed to meet at 10.00pm, but they fashionably appeared one hour late! I gave them an angry piece of mind but they told me, “Cekmi, relax lah, don’t be too emotional, too over-reactive and too perfectionist.” Well, welcome to my life.

Sun of Kelantan