| Thursday, December 29, 2005 |
| Paraphernalia of 2005 |
2005 is leaving.
Yes, this might be the best time for us to muhasabah and reflect our lives, despite someone’s saying that it is only a combination of numbers, that 31 December and 1 January are not so much different, that times wouldn’t move a lot faster or slower than the previous day, that our minds wouldn’t become less brainy or more brilliant than the previous day. Nevertheless, for many civilized people around the world, end of the year typically marks the end of a feeling and new year positively marks the beginning of a new fresh hope. Poetically and romantically, ambitious mankind set new aims and wishes.
On the verge of 2006, let me take you into some of the critical points of no-return in my life in 2005. Here is the paraphernalia I won’t forget.
January
For the first time in my life, I celebrated Hari Raya Haji in KL, far away from my hometown, familyless. The result? The highest craving for mama’s sambal. Sadly, this craving turned deadly.
February
After 45 days of performing Hajj in Makkah, my father returned home, alone, without my mother’s company. She gracefully passed away while completing her duties to Allah in Makkah. Even until now, I still mentally picture her wandering in Makkah, alive and healthy, waiting for the right moment to come back here. Indeed, she is lucky.  March
I was a self-appointed captain and proudly launched a budu-tale ship. Thanks to my wonderful pioneering crews…
 Deputy Captain: Jimi d'Wiser
Chief Kadam: Enigma
(Very) Personal Assistant: Lunacy
Finance Manager: WTL
Legal Officers: Maverix, Halian and Fiz
Public Relation Officers: Awan, Adren and Taufix
International Ambassadors: Karl (UK) and Syafeeq (KB)
Guest Relation Officers: Cekya and Tatot
Secret Agents: i_mshe and Firah
Ghostbusters: Milkullah and Omar
Chef: Carneyz
At times of hardship, I found soothing comfort and continuous support from my dear crews, especially my dearest sister, Lunacy. Thanks kak…. those were the amazing days, definitely. How can I forget the great venture we marvellously sailed together. So wonderful they will be forever encrypted in my RAM memory.
April
To my utter surprise, I learnt that Andy was HIV-positive. Yet, his free spirit and strong determination will forever amaze me. However, I am praying that he would change his mind, go back home and see his weeping mother, who is painfully waiting for his badly-anticipated return.
May
Personally, I contentedly broke the five-year relationship up. Period.
Professionally, I was seriously back in the college administration as the Assistant Manager of Registration & Examination Unit. My tripple lives began, and so did my long, elaborate CSI-looking to-do-lists.
June
Finally, I spent my extraordinary holidays in Penang and Langkawi, alone and desperate. I underwent truly irregular experiences. It was the time when I was mistakenly identified as a Eurasian! Not to forget the cheap Singapura Hotel. Lost in translation. A sure mentally-challenged adventure. Hehehe.
July
I was hell back with regular, hectic tripple lives. Despite this “busi”ness, I unbelievably maintained my Dean’s List status in my master studies. Way to go cekmi!
August
 Mawi hours! So mawied even gargantuan haze around Malaysia couldn’t possibly divert my deep attention and lunatic enthusiasm for my newly-founded idol. The so-called aura reached to my very deep bone. So childish that when looking back at it, I smile boyishly. Perhaps my litle sister was darn right when she once bluntly remarked this comment right to my cute face: “Kau tu professional, dia tu lepas SPM je!” Oh boy, what the heck!
September
I joyfully celebrated my not-so-young birthday in my newly-rented semi-D house. This was my first 'suicidal' attempt to live alone. I found it ironically rewarding. People will unbelievingly pop their eyes whenever I tell them the jaw-dropping fact that this was my tenth move since graduation! To mark this as one BIG final crazy movement, I organized the first ever housewarming party, and it went unexpectedly succesful. The party was extremely heartwarming. Indeed, it was truly one of the magical moments in my life. At last, I found my solace, my sweetest home.
October
With the new renaissance-like movement, I accidentally discovered two new hobbies - cooking and gardening. Oh, how I love them! So therapeutic and healing. At this particular age, hmmm… poor cekmi.
November
 I was out-of-nowhere promoted as a Manager for my unit (now a department). What an irony! The moment I wanted to tender my resignation letter for my admin post, I was offered a new promising position. So I took it. Rezeki jangan ditolak.
December
At last, I started my ever-delayed research writing. So anxious, I am going to write on Language Anxiety. La la la la...
And most importantly, I realised my super dream of rebranding a new transparent look of my bloglife: CEKMI, A Freewriter.
And 2006 is absolutely reaching. Labels: cekmi's memory lane |
| mused by cekmi @ 5:40 PM |
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| Tuesday, December 27, 2005 |
| A Ride of Craziness |
Life is crazy when you have a friend who is promoting craziness. Che We, a friend of mine, is one of such creatures. While Santa was busy with his elves, we had a wild journey to Kelantan two days ago, gambling style.
Sehelai sepinggang. 
You were right Che We, even your pink shirt tells so.
So, with mixed feelings, I joined his world of madness, driving through pouring rain and possible landslides along the slippery road, energetic and full of excitement, just like those tireless backpackers, only that I packed just one newly-bought toothbrush and an adidas shirt (on loan basis).
Acknowledging the saying of a wise man in Travel & Living Channel that a true traveler just explores and never plans, we stopped in Bukit Kluang beach, explored, and took pictures. So picturesque, it made me a little melancholic. Sob.
Panoramic angle
And this really made us wild with laughter. 
The Incredible Hulk of Monkey in the making
Phew! We reached KL this morning, tired and a little weng.
p/s Welcoming my beloved crews to cekmi’s brand new ship. Let’s ride together in this world of transparent lunacy (yet tinted). Yes, I am still your aging Captain. Smile dear angels. Labels: cekmi's inspiring adventures |
| mused by cekmi @ 4:36 PM |
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| Thursday, December 22, 2005 |
| Blogology |
Welcoming my business communication students to cekmi's domain...
Me & black-and-white angelic Royal Supplies
Me & pinkish Rose Wedding Planner
Here are my down-10 rules of thumb for ethically-fun blogology:
10. Treat bloggers respectfully
9. Stay connected frequently
8. Leave your links clearly
7. Share things openly
6. Tagboard maturely
5. Drop by regularly
4. Express honestly
3. Comment wisely
2. Bloghop joyfully
1. Write freely
For more useful tips, zed’s Blogology 101: An Introduction to Blogs is worth reading. Thanks to zuhri for showing the way. Labels: cekmi's little tips |
| mused by cekmi @ 9:11 PM |
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| Wednesday, December 21, 2005 |
| Cliches of Embarrassments |
People avoid embarrassments.
Imagine…
We let the flies open in public. Face goes red.
We chop out the foods out of the plate in a restaurant. Face goes redder.
We snort while speaking patriotically during a public speech. Face goes reddest.
We let the green fungus out while laughing with a girlfriend on a date. Face goes reddester.
Okay.
People avoid these embarrassments since it might bruise their state of egoism.
But some things can be so pathetically heartwarming.
Humorous.
Ironic.
And I have found these two descriptions in many incidents in my life. For me, that’s what makes life an enriching one. Not a serious, boring, sickening polished life with highly-trained manners.
Okay.
I am not asking you guys to look for embarrassments. But, to take these incidents as they are and swallow the moments, we will surely enjoy the humiliation and let it melt with you, like a good coffee. How did I make into a good coffee? Take pictures. Smile. Hehehe.
Like this. 
I bought that thereafter-stupid shirt before raya and decided not to wear it when I later spotted a lecturer wearing the same shirt in my college. My evil wish was: “I want this fella to get terminated from this college the soonest possible.”
My wish was granted. Ironic.
The fella really got terminated and I was happily right on track, planning for a beautiful day when I would be proudly walking in my new shirt. I thought I had planned well when suddenly, on that fine day in my business communication class, while I was getting ready for my lecture, one latecoming student hurriedly walked in the class wearing exactly the same shirt as mine! There we were, stunned and flabbergasted in front of 45 other students.
Faces go reddesterest.
We all ended up bursting into lion-roaring laughter heartwarmingly and, not to forget, took pictures together as a hygiene technique for the accidental moment. Perhaps I shouldn’t call this an accident, but a fated event to cherish one-of-a-kind moment in life.
And laughter is truly the best medicine.
(Mental note: Quickly bury this shirt in the deepest grave!)
Labels: cekmi's funny life |
| mused by cekmi @ 8:53 AM |
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| Monday, December 19, 2005 |
| HEALing ME |
 I have a problem in truthfully introducing myself to others – I am always unsure about what kind of impressions that I should deliver first, and what unique characteristics of mine that I should prioritize in order to leave a good impression of myself. Perhaps I am still struggling with a self-identity crisis, a prolong series of my painful teenagehood. This so-called crisis takes place in many different types of occasions and audience I am attending to. Funnily, it involves lots of half-truth strategies with creative versions of answers. Let me give you some examples. Situation 1: New students in a classroom at the beginning of a semesterStudents: Tell me about yourself, Sir. Me: My name is HILMI. Please, it is HEEL ME or HILL ME or HEAL ME. But I would prefer you to HEAL ME because it sounds so healing for me. And for God’s sake, don’t ever HELL ME because I am from HILL, not from HELL. If you ever HELL ME, you‘d better get the HELL out of you. Students: Okay Sir Hilmi. Me: One more thing, don’t ever call me “Sir”. I have never been to England and the Queen has never conferred me the title “Sir”, unless Sir Elton John is ready to share his honorable title and wealth with me. I know it is so typical for Malaysian students to call their male English lecturers “Sir”, but I would prefer to be called CEKMI. I like it. It sounds so simple, friendly, Malay, and less British. The truth: I am not a HILL man, I don’t mind to be HELLed, and I am proud to be “Sir”red. Situation 2: New lecturers in a formal gatheringNew lecturers: Where are you from? Me: I am from Melaka. The truth: I am from Kelantan, and this fact bothers me until now for I am not comfortable to be associated with typical Kelantanese traits. (Yes, Kelantanese out there, damn me. You can label me as a blasphemous Kelantanese). Once these people find out the truth, I will defend myself: “My mother’s parents are from Melaka, and my father’s are from Kelantan.” I was half-lying. Situation 3: Makciks in kampungsMakciks: Are you still single? Me: I am married with 3 kids. The truth: I am happily single. The fact that I am still unmarried at the age of 29 bothers so many people, especially those kepohs. Once they find out the truth, I will defend myself: “I am married with 3 lives – my teaching profession, my master studies, and my administrative tasks.” I was half-lying. Situation 4: New Chinese friends in a Chinese restaurantChinese friends: Where are you working? Me: I am working in a college as a Manager. The truth: I am a lecturer in International Islamic College. Having to confess this fact might shock them to death, knowing my alien behaviour in an alien place with an alien friend. But, I am really a Manager, only I do not mention my other profession. I was half-lying. Situation 5: Complete strangers in a junior friend’s house
Strangers: Are you a student or working? Me: I am a student. The truth: I am a lecturer, which sounds so old and sickly-matured. Being in a jolly situation with crazy young friends, I don’t want to spoil the impression of my “youngness”, “smallness”, “funkiness” and “cuteness” by saying the truth. Once they find out the truth, I will defend myself: “I am a master's degree student in TESL studying in International Islamic University Malaysia.” I was half-lying.
Yes, being an English lecturer, a Manager for Registration & Examination Department, and a master's degree student in TESL simultaneously has driven me crazy and confused most of the time. It makes me a half-liar.
My goodness, saying all these is really HEALing ME.
Welcome to my blog.
Labels: cekmi's true colours |
| mused by cekmi @ 5:46 PM |
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