Have you played ever Uno – Winnie the Pooh? Lily and I learned how to play it by ourselves at McDonald’s.

My dear soul mate,

Do you still remember the many beautiful things we shared?

The intimacy (we were spiritually close that people mechanically took us as lovers)

The care (you gave me a wonderful Whitney Houston's 'You Were Loved' card)

The silliness (the cinema was nearly on fire before we watched 'Anastasia')

The oddity (we studied in a park only the lovesick couples would hang out)

The enthusiasm (we were crazy for Amy Tan's idiosyncrasies)

The passion (we watched movies consecutively at the same cinema on the same day)

The respect (you don't mind my budu taste for Siti Nurhaliza)

The pettiness (we listened to Disney's soundtracks babyishly)

The resemblance (we both wanted to be perfect when dubbing Celine Dion songs)

The happiness (we listened to hopelessly romantic songs while climbing the Cameron Highland)

The willingness (you agreed to further our master studies together)

The forgiveness (you forgave me when I deferred the studies we were supposed to take)

The support (you SMSed me endlessly to get me going to a new sanctuary)

The togetherness (we spent hours at Burger King's drinking a glass of coke and chatting childishly)

The miracle (we speak the language only the Grobanites would fully comprehend)

The confidentiality (we both faithfully keep each others' love tales)

The determination (we learned how to turn our own bitter love stories into a sweet coffee)

The inspiration (You bloggised me and brought me into a wildly enchanting paradise)

The connection (we listen to what we don't say and we feel the things between us rather oddly)

The sadness (we were sad at times only the two of us only knew that we were)

The thoughtfulness (we took a different path in life but we took a little of each other everywhere)

The hope (we keep hoping to be finally together in an unfounded place)

These 22 colouful abstract nouns are my definition of a true soul mate. Do they fit yours?

It is an unexpected coincidence. I was not particularly close to him. He has been Jimi’s best friend in Ipoh. And now, my best friend’s best friend is my housemate. Jimi also told me once that he didn’t expect that his two best friends would be housemates (Pretty twist, isn’t it?).

He came to KL just five moths ago to work in one of the government’s offices. It was his first job in KL after working for five years in Ipoh. When I cordially invited him to be my housemate, he complained a lot about the third-world conditions of my house. Fine, I was not really desperate for a housemate, I consoled myself repeatedly. Well, he could easily choose to stay with his ever-loud friends in KL in a much more metropolitan housing area. But at the end, he chose me, simply because I was the total opposite of him. Yes, he is extremely loud (talking about professional legal officer), while I prefer to be quiet and boring when my students are not around. Our characters are so much different, yet we have been good housemates with amazing chemistry. People with good sense would never expect that we would sit comfortably together on the sofa in the house.

“With you Cekmi, life is more peaceful”, he said. I didn’t quite get it at first. But later on, I understood what was going on. With a reserved person like me, he could complete the house with his loudness effortlessly, which I welcome very much. With his intense charisma, my house has never been so loud, thunderous and cheerful. He completes my solitary life. To illustrate, singing is his forte. With his high-pitched singing in the toilet every now and then, he surely sends a merry message to the mundane neighbourhood and, not to forget, my ever-talkative landlord nearby.

And he likes America’s next-top model. I certainly can’t beat his cat-walking (Ah, two crazy professionals!)

Coming from a caterer family, he likes to cook. Whenever he cooks, he cooks like a pro – with rich varieties of dishes, side dishes and extra side dishes. And he would complain, “Cekmi, why you eat so little?” I will smile and add a little, regretting it later.

We like to buy things in bulks, where at the end, we have to throw them into a wastebin quite regrettably – rotten eggs, decayed fruits, overly-dried vegetables, liquidated ice-cream, etc. I guess his big taste explains these bulky choices of groceries in the house.

He used to complain about my hectic urban lifestyle – going out with friends every night, shopping endlessly and all that. For him, life after work is found at home, accompanied lazily by TV and foods. “I don’t want to make new friends, I just want to maintain what I have now,” he said. Well, he is a conventional old-school Ipoh boy while I am a vibrant new-school KL boy. Don’t worry, he would eventually change his mind later and would not miss his mum too much (influential Cekmi, hahaha)

Most importantly, we managed to compromise on so many things - mostly little things.

One, Tuesday night is my night. He is not, in any circumstances, supposed to be any nearer to the TV remote control. Because my favourite TV shows are on the air – Betty Ugly and Desperate Housewives. But there was a time when he asked me out for dinner on Tuesday night. Not wanting to disappoint him, I voluntarily accompanied him. Only when he suddenly realized later on that it was Tuesday night that he terribly apologized for his fault. Well, I didn’t really mind missing those shows. What is more important than being a good companion to a good friend? And being accompanied in return? (Ah, idealist Cekmi)

Two, there is only one parking space in front of the house, where one of us has to park quite a distance and has to lose a few calories by walking around 20 feet to the front door. As petty as it may seem, I do not want this thing to be an issue. So, we happily take turns parking our cars on predetermined days. Isn’t life full of beautiful compromises, dear readers?

Oh, we share almost the same birthday (I am just two day’s younger than him). Our birthday celebrations this year will definitely be the grandest of all, or at least grander than IIC’s grand dinner!

I really love his presence because he continuously brings comfort and warm to the house and, of course, to my heart, which makes me wonder sometimes – what I would do without him.

p/s This entry (which is the hundredth!) has been proudly pre-endorsed by my charming housemate.

Remember Shazlee?

He has fought it
He has conquered it
He has strong-willed it
And yes, he finally did it

Look at him now…
What an incredible brat
What crazy naughtiness
What a couldn’t-be-bothered man

Amazing bravery
Miraculous turn-out
Unbelievable courage
Inspiring life-time achievement

Look at his outrageous act
Here he came to me out of a sudden
Smiling nonchalantly
As if nothing has happened

How many people could do this
Having this rare chance
Being at a live-or-die stage
Going through two chemotherapy
Coming back alive
Telling people how indescribable
How unspeakable the pain was

Cherished this story should be
Remembered this man should be
Learnt this experience should be
Awarded this courage should be

Because he is a cancer survivor
And he really IS

The Antonym of Dying

I had an unforgettable moment with a good friend of mine.

During a motivational camp held in Ramadan, when everybody was having their berbuka puasa at a mosque, we sneaked out. It was his stupid idea. We had already bought our own food and planned to break our fast somewhere else, where there was nobody around.

"How about right there?" he pointed to a table for two by the lake. From there, we could look at a picturesque view of the lake.
"That's perfect," I agreed.
"Hope nobody is swimming!" He was so brave and childish.
With a naughty smile, I followed him. We broke our fasting, chatted and laughed gleefully. It sounds simple, but it lasts on my mind. Because it was an unforgettable evening for me.

When I remember this, I always put myself out of the scene, trying to look at it from an angel's point of view, putting myself in the middle of the lake, flying and looking at the two spoilt teenagers. In my mind, the whole scene was like a hallmark drama, so heartwarming and beautiful. The sun was peacefully setting down. The clouds were truly amazing. The kaleidoscopic reflection on the surface of the lake was the most beautiful of all. It was the reflection of free spirit. I guess, this is the very reason why I am crazy about lakes these days. A free-spirit reason.

The truth is, I really admire my friend’s free spirit. At our secondary school, he was so determined to live his life differently, accepting the fact that he was actually different. Everybody in the school knew that he was different. At this time, I wasn't that close to him, afraid that I would be labeled the same, and also afraid that I would be subjected to ridicule and humiliation among brainless students, just like he had been through. However, he wasn't bothered at all until everybody was looking at each others' disbelieving faces when he actually got a place in a local university. He was a hero then.

It was at the university that I tried to get to know him better. I was not afraid of the juicy, scandalous speculation anymore because, at this stage, I thought everybody should be very open-minded and matured enough to accept a friend like him. I knew our friendship was pure. He was a great friend who taught me lots of great things about life. He was my guru of life at that time. He was my inspiration. I learnt how to free my spirit. I learnt how to listen to my heart. I tried and tried and tried.

But in the end, I wasn't and couldn't be as free as he was and could. There were things that I just couldn't do. I still believed that there were limitations on how free someone could possibly be, but he didn't care. He was ready for any challenges and consequences. Nothing could stop his free spirit. It was his agonizing past experience that taught him to be this way. Despite the many heroic things he did at the university, he studied real hard and managed to graduate one year earlier than me. I admired his hard work.

After graduation, his fate was not that bad. Only he couldn't stick to a single job. Every time I met him, he would give me a new card: Assistant Manager of this, Assistant Manager of that... wow! His carefree passion in life was definitely admirable. However, this endless passion also almost killed him. Disappointed with his frustrating love life, he once gulped dozens of pills, admitted to a hospital, and survived his suicidal attempt. His spirit was so free he couldn't stop it from flying unnecessarily. What's worse, he was even fired by his company then. Yet, his free spirit again took a faster beat when he started his own company. He was on the verge of a big, bold, adventurous journey that any typical fresh graduates wouldn't ever dare to embark on. With strong determination, he got an investor's 80K in his hand to start off his daring endeavor. Oh my God.

Lately, I have been ignoring him, thanks to my busy life. I am so sorry that I haven't been a good friend to him. But he always tries to keep in touch with me. When he called me a month ago, it was heart-breaking. He informed me that his business was booming.

"I am opening a new branch near KLCC", he confidently said.
"Congrat! That's cool man."
"Okay lah..."
"Err.. friend, how's your personal life?" I tried to sound like a trustworthy confidante.
He was thinking before saying, "I'm leaving everything soon."
I was utterly shocked. "What do you mean - everything!?"
I could slightly hear him sobbing. For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence.
"Hey, what happened?" I was impatient and worried. I was not ready for bad news because I had my final exam paper on the following day. He was still silent. And I had an uneasy feeling mounting inside, ready to explode. I knew it - what he was about to say would be the last thing that I could ever imagine in my mind. And I didn't want to hear that. Because it was going to haunt my life forever. But he was going to break free his strongest spirit.

He finally said it: "I am HIV-positive."

(This post was originally published by cekmi at dannyhussainy.blogspot.com on April 27, 2005.)

I had a new perspective on Indonesian stuffs, as I started to see something different about Indon cultures - foods, music, movies, etc. (I always had this negative perception towards Indon-related products). Thanks to my Padang-born ex-housemate.

I was introduced to a lot of his kind Indonesian friends and wonderful family. I learned a good lesson from him. “Never abandon our silaturrahim and ukhuwwah with people we love,” he always said to me.

*sigh*

But, there were things about him which I was not quite comfortable with. He was kind of disorganized and hasty. “I am bad timekeeper,” he explained to me one day when he was late for lunch. But, the most unforgiving moment was when he left the house at night, unlocked! When I got back, I was panicked to death, thinking that my house was broken in and robbed. How angry I was at that time, wishing that I could chase him out of the house immediately.

And my angry wish came true not so long after that incident. Things started to change so dramatically when he decided to get married and moved together with his wife. It was a sudden decision. But, I was not really affected since I had been living my life all by myself before. Of course, I could do it all over again. For my ex-housemate, I pray that you will find peace and happiness in your marriage. I am thankful for having you as my super ex-housemate, even for only three months.

And here I am again in the house, contentedly alone.