| Monday, October 30, 2006 |
| My New Ummi |
 Alhamdulillah. The wedding ceremony went so unbelievably successfully. All my brothers and sisters were there, lightheartedly welcoming our new Ummi. Finally, all of us were fully supportive and, for the first time, buying a wedding present together for the bridegroom, our beloved Ayah. It was overwhelming. We were so over-excited preparing for sambut menantu ceremony (well, in our case, it should be renamed to sambut ibu ceremony). The foods were marvelous. The invitees were smiling cheerfully. It was heartwarmingly bizarre. The akad nikah was done so smoothly with only one lafaz (wah, my Ayah was so well-versed). But most surprisingly, my new Ummi. The first time I saw her, she reminded me of my late ma. The similar soft smile. The similar square face. The similar soothing eyes. The similar motherly gesture. “ Pandai ayah kau pilih,” said a lot of my relatives. It is true. I like my new Ummi. May their marriage lasts for a lifetime.  Labels: cekmi's family affairs |
| mused by cekmi @ 12:43 PM |
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| Tuesday, October 17, 2006 |
| My Lake Tales |
Wanna listen to my lake tales? Let me start with this caps-locked statement – LAKES ARE MY SPIRITUAL FRIENDS!
If you want to take my heart away, just take me to any of those man-made lakes around KL, or any other enchanting lake gardens around the world, and my heart would absolutely fly away into the sky, as I am being spelled and possessed by mystifying serenity those lakes would bring to me, those little things that normal human beings would take them for granted. Ok, I heard that. You can laugh at me now and call me a pathetic romanticist, an eccentric nature lover, a freaky environmentalist, or a hopeless lake maniac – I don’t care. But, the fact that my soul and self-beings have somehow been connected with lakes is one crucial aspect that, in many weird ways, describes my persona.
Oh, about the first picture above? Hmm, I just love reading by the lake (so hopelessly romantic, right Jimi?). It's true, I could sit there for long pleasurable hours, reading novels, and sometimes doing nothing, just sitting there stupidly. Looking. Pondering. Imagining. Self-absorbing.  
For me, lakes are like fairy-tale bridges to an unfounded land. I could spiritually feel the powerful bond with the still waters, soft breeze, tranquil sensation, and mesmerizing sights, and subconsciously lifting me up there, to the invisible land of mysterious wonders and indescribable beauty. And, amazingly and quite effortlessly, I could find all these whenever I am sitting there all by myself. When I am tumbling down inside and in a dire need for some comfort, I will find my solace and relief there. It is almost therapeutical. They provide soul-healing powers. They heal my inner well-beings whenever I need it. Er, am I being too crazily imaginative? Okay, have a closer look at these pictures. Can you just feel it right now, dear readers?
 
Okay, never mind if you are not with me. You are not alone. Few weeks ago, when I asked a good friend of mine to break our fast at one of the lakes, he refused and straight away dismissed my idea. “You are too romantic lah, Cekmi!” he said rather sarcastically. Okay, luckily it was hazy at that time, and by the way, who on earth would want to breathe smoky and dirty air? If it wasn’t because of hazy weather, I would go there alone. Right, I may sound over-reactive about artificial lakes, but those lakes have been the devoted suppliers for my constant search for peace of mind.
One thing for sure, I always dream of my own house majestically built next to a beautiful lake, so that every single morning, I could open my little windows from my bedroom and feel the fresh air outside, enjoying the breath-taking sceneries. And in the evenings, I could take pleasure in a relaxing walk around the lake and be immersed into my own happy little world (when I share these little thoughts with a colleague, he always jokes that I should bring along a companion with me – a puppy !)
  Whatever you may think of my lake tales now, I am pretty sure that lakes will always be my natural imaginary friends, who smilingly stand there for me. Ready to serve. Labels: cekmi's romantic obsession |
| mused by cekmi @ 12:00 PM |
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| Thursday, October 12, 2006 |
| To Ayah With Love |
 My Dear Ayah & Late Ma
Dear Ayah,
It has been almost two years after Ma suddenly left us. Until now, I still strongly feel that Ma is still there, completing her duties in the Blessed Land, waiting to come back home any moment, returning to our beautiful house very soon, smiling to us cheerfully, bringing back all the joy to all of us, and returning to you. She seems so alive for me, accompanying me all the time especially when I am alone at home, waking me up every morning, and giving me everyday comfort and strength. However, despite all these wild illusions over her spiritual existence and wishful return, they are apparently illusionary generated by my own crazy imagination, since she would never come back, I know.
Dear Ayah,
Things must have been difficult for you since Ma was not around. It must have been different without her by your side. You must have been lonely, living without someone to care for you, to love you, to listen to your thoughts, to accompany you while having late dinner, to talk to you during hard times, to pamper you, or even to argue with you over your favourite political stuffs. Life without a companion must have been uneasy, I know.
Dear Ayah,
I am really happy with that good news. I am sure I can handle that well. Don’t worry. In fact, I will always be supportive in whatever decisions for our family’s sake. But, you must know that Ma will be always part of me, in my soul, in my blood, in my spirit. No one will be able to replace her, to take her in my heart. She will be there, in my past life, present life, and years to come. I am sure you also feel the same way too, right Ayah? And I think, Ma would also be glad with the news, that she would also want you to live on this life and be happy, I know.
Dear Ayah,
Although some of us may not approve with your decision, it is about time for them to let go of the past and build up a new life with a new person in their lives. They shouldn’t be selfish. They must understand that you must need someone in your life. How could they stop you from being happy? You deserve the happiness that has been emptied for quite some time. They should be more considerate. I am sure they will accept that sooner or later. Things will be fine, I know.
Dear Ayah,
This coming Hari Raya will definitely mark a new beginning in your life, and ours, of course. Things will surely be a lot brighter and more meaningful. The best things will be on their way to your new life. May our family be blessed with good health, good life and good fortunes, here and hereafter. And I will do my best to be a better son for you, and for my new mother.
Selamat Pengantin Baru, Ayah!
Love,
Hilmi Labels: cekmi's gracious wishes |
| mused by cekmi @ 12:47 PM |
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| Monday, October 09, 2006 |
| When I Think of Ramadan |
When I think of Ramadan
I think of the elaborate buka puasa feasts
The glaring food it showcases
The lust it accumulates
The fat it generates
When I think of Ramadan
I think of the buka puasa places
The hungry-to-death crowd
The crazy pandemonium
The hurry-up aura
When I think of Ramadan
I think of the buka puasa moments
The I-could-a-horse faces
The energetic eyes
The active noses
When I think of Ramadan
I think of the buka puasa friends
The sharing moments
The amusing laughter
The happy smiles
When I think of Ramadan
I think of the buka puasa blessings
The foods, of course
But most of all
The precious friends
p/s thanks Himitsu & Grey for livening up these moments againLabels: cekmi's disorienting rumbles |
| mused by cekmi @ 4:41 PM |
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| Thursday, October 05, 2006 |
| My Telepathic Friend |
We came from the same state
We are crazy over the same food
Nasi Belauk
Nasi Kerabu
Nasi Dagang
Gulai Singgang
Gulai darat
(You name it…!)
We speak the same dialect
We always make fun of our own dialect
“Pah tu? Buleh doh tu… ”
“Tak dok apo apo…”
“Bak po mung gelenya gak?”
“Olah olah olah…”
“Sombong teh!”
Oh, how we love doing this
Impersonating the way our own people speak
You see, we are both modern
Having a metropolitan lifestyle
But we talk about our cultures so openly
The reasons?
I think we are both detached from the stereotypes
But we are also attached to our root in our own way
This makes us atypical non-conformists
This blend makes us uniquely “French” (hmm...)
Yes, we always get excited over petty things
We always get hysterical over small things
Over cooking
Over swimming
Over traveling
Over shopping
Oh, we just love shopping
We always buy things together
We always like the same things
And we end up buying the same things together
The amazing thing is
Even in separate occasions
When we do our own shopping
We sometimes buy exactly the same things
Blue Seed t-shirt
Red fighting fish
Black Flipper sandal
White Arena swimming cap
(and even the same brand of detergent!)
Coincidental?
I don’t think so
He is my telepathic friendLabels: cekmi's dear sweethearts |
| mused by cekmi @ 12:33 PM |
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| Tuesday, October 03, 2006 |
| Past Tense |
Our past history can be so dark, and ironically, it gets darker when our lives get brighter. As I dug the details of my past, it seemed to be more horrible than what I actually went through. And so it happened to me again last Friday.
I went to Menara Celcom to have my prepaid migrated to minutes postpaid plan. As I parked my car at the most horrible parking lot in the world, I was smilingly thinking of the prospects of post-paid services as compared to the prepaid ones – more voice calls, more free SMSes, cheaper call rate, and save more. It is just like what Maya Karin keeps asking in Celcom ad, “Lebih apa lagi?” She is right. “With Celcom Postpaid, you always get MORE”. Okay, I am going to do it right now.
 As I was sitting at the counter, the customer service officer smiled at me.
“How can I assist you, Sir?” she said politely.
“I would like to register for minutes postpaid plan.”
“Did you register with any network provider before?”
“Yes, I once registered with Maxis in 2002 and I terminated the line two years ago. I am sure there is no outstanding balance and I am definitely free from any debts. You know, I am a good paymaster” I said so proudly and confidently.
The officer looked at me expressionlessly and said in a monotonous tone, “Why don’t you fill up this form first while I am checking you records.” I smiled since I know there would be no problem.
After several minutes, my perspective towards my history was about to change.
“Sir, have you ever registered with a line besides Maxis?” the female officer asked me rather innocently.
“Er…” I began to get panicked. “I don’t think so, why?”
“In our record, it shows that you once had a 013 number in 2001 and it was terminated by Celcom in 2002. And it seems that there is an outstanding balance.”
Outstanding balance? That was ridiculous! It must be a mistake. That couldn't possibly be me! Who was that bastard!? Could you please check again, dear officer? Helllooooo!!! Are you listening to me? I tried to act cool and asked her, “How much?”
“RM543.30”
There you go.
I couldn’t believe with what I had just heard. That I did such an ugly thing in the past. That I was such an awful customer. That I was so careless. So stupid.
I guiltily excused myself and went out of the building immediately. I sat on a bench outside and started having aggressive intrapersonal communication with myself. Ashamed and offended, I practiced self-comfort as I was recollecting any hints from the past that led to the unexpected debt. I was thinking real hard, looking for sound explanations. I couldn’t remember anything related to this. What have I done in the past? Was I that bad? No way! Cekmi is a good guy. He is perfect. Yes. But... could he be wrong this time? Wait a minute...
For one terrible moment, I was struck with all the dreadful details of my past life. Apparently, this was not the first nightmarish monetary experience ever happened to me. In fact, there has been a chain of such occurrences. Let’s start with two.
1. My car loan was rejected due to a shocking reason – I had a bad record with one bank. I found out later that my cousin had, without my knowledge, sold my ex-motorbike to a stranger and that particular stranger soon disappeared together with the motorbike. He never paid the installment. It was my mistake – I did not the change the motorbike’s ownership before I sold it to my cousin. And up until now, the debt is still on my shoulder. My cousin refused to be accountable for what happened. My cousin and I never speak again to each other after that incident, not even during last five Hari Rayas. Practically, we are not cousins anymore. For my current car, I am using my sister’s name.
2. My personal loan with Bank Islam was rejected because, as a guarantor for my friend’s loan at the same bank, there seemed to be a certain amount of debt accumulated by my friend. Unless I had paid all her debt, I wouldn’t get my personal loan. She paid anyway at last after being forcefully persuaded by me, and I finally got my personal loan, but it was the results of months of emotional agony and mental suffering.
After some time, I thought I wanted to cancel the postpaid registration, run away freely and forget about the whole thing – the debt with Celcom particularly. But, after much consideration, I convinced myself that I should not be irresponsible. I should settle this immediately before it starts haunting my life here and there. Sooner or later, it would come back to me again, in a much more horrifying face. Even though the causes of such debt were still mysterious, I did not want to prolong this newly discovered debt. No matter who or what did to me in the past, the past financial experiences have been almost unbearable. It was enough. The bearer of the debt would still be Cekmi, no matter who the culprit was (and it could be me!). So, I decided to settle the payment.
“Sir, we have a 40 percent discount for an old debt like this,” the lady officer said.
I was pleasantly surprised and asked her about the newly discounted amount.
“It is RM326.28.” Good.
Welcome to Celcom. It’s in your hands.
Labels: cekmi's hard times |
| mused by cekmi @ 9:23 AM |
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