| Tuesday, August 21, 2007 |
| And proud of it. |
How do I handle stubborn and persistent latecomers in my class? I reward them with a crown. Like this.
I AM A LATECOMING KING.
And proud of it.
  
I AM A LATECOMING QUEEN.
And proud of it.
Fun, isn’t it? Yes, it is an effective lesson on punctuality. So, if you want to experience these rare privileges of being glamourous and elite, you may come late to my class and it will definitely be my great pleasure and honour to crown you with these highly-acclaimed titles.
And you’ll be proud of it. Thank you. Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 1:23 PM |
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| Thursday, August 02, 2007 |
| Usrah ke? |
When it comes to handling usrah, I am always equipped with the unthinkable bit of knowledge which, in some gratifying ways, provides some ingenious leeway for my utter ignorance over the subject matter. This is one of them.
Okay students, today’s topic is Soul Purification. Eh, have I started this class with Al-Fatihah? Oh, I have? Thanks Huda, whoa, you look so pretty today with that famous Wardina-style tudung and glittering baju kurung that people only wear when they go to a wedding, hmmm, are you going for a date after this? Hah, why you smile smile like that, Amran? You are going with her, ke? Astaghfirullah, this is Friday lah, hissh hissh hissh. Okay okay, let’s talk about our usrah today. Wait wait, haa… here comes another VIP who is fashionably late to class. Give him a big round of applause. Clap clap clap. Yes, welcome to my class dear VIP, you can kindly proceed to you seat and be comfortably seated on your comfy leathered chair there, and congratulations on your classic lateness because you’ve successfully got my attention and these girls’ attention. I know you are desperately looking for attention and craving for love, and that’s why you purposely came late today, right Nabil? Good boy.
Okay people, let’s start now. What is it, Noraini? You wanna go to the toilet? Why you wanna go to the toilet at the beginning of my class? You can go to the toilet before my class, can’t you? Cannot tahan? Go go go to the toilet and what Abdullah? No no no, you cannot say things like that to her. Naughty lah you ni. You want to go to a toilet too, Hazwan? Okay, make sure you read the sign properly before entering the toilet ha ha. Okay okay, this is usrah, not English class. I should be talking like a respectable Ustaz. What Fatimah? These old newspaper? Wait, I will tell you very soon. Patient patient patient. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman. Ha ha.
Now, I will put you into 5 groups. I will start counting you now, one, two, three, what Sharifah? You want to choose your own group members? Hak elah, why you people ah, always like to be among your own kind only? So complacent and racist. Okay, choose choose choose. Now now. Only five or four students in a group. Yes, like that. Faster. Faster. Why you slow? Aggressive lah sikit.
Now, see these old newspapers? I want you guys to build the tallest and strongest building using these newspapers only, yes, only these. Use your wild imagination and creativity to build one building. I don’t care how it will look like as long as it is a building, not a durian or a kueh. Any question? No Husna, no, you cannot use other things besides these newspapers. I have brought enough newspapers and I think they are enough for five groups. Yes Faisal, yes, you can build any type of building, KLCC, KL Tower, Menara Maybank, Tabung Haji, anything. But make sure, people, your buildings must be tall and strong. The group that builds the strongest and tallest building will be the winner. Any other questions? Yes Mashitah, toilet? Haiyoyo, go go go. Okay, you may start now. How long? Hmm, 15 minutes, not enough? Okay okay okay, 30 minutes. Now, come and grab these newspapers. Now!
      
And the winner for today’s paper-building competition is…
Harry Porter's Building!
Well done people. I am so proud of you guys. So brilliant and talented. You can pass for an excellent architect. Yes, I know, this is not an architecture class. No, I am not teaching you to be an architect, Hanafi. Thanks for your concern. You see, I notice that some of you tend to concentrate and build the main body or the top of the buildings first. At the end, you were panicked because you did not know how to put them in balance on the floor. Some buildings could easily fall if I just touch or blow. Why did this thing happen? No no no Halim, not because they are made of stupid old newspapers. No. Thank you for your answer, but it was not really accurate. I tell you what, this thing happened because you forgot to build the base first, I mean, you forgot to build a strong foundation which could strongly hold the body of your buildings, understood?
You see guys, life is also like that. If you do not have a strong foundation within yourself, whatever you build and have in your life, your top-notch career, your gigantic house, your excellent Ph.D, your expensive car, all will collapse and be deemed meaningless if you forget to cater for the humane aspect within yourselves. If you purify your soul first and concentrate on this matter before doing any other worldly things, you’ll have a solid base in this life and you can stand tall like this Harry Porter's building, and in the end, you can be successful in your life and you can easily menuju puncak and gemilang cahaya and all that, like those instant stars did in Akademi Fantasia.
Cekmi.
Yes, Aizat.
Are you teaching usrah or what?
Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 2:35 PM |
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| Tuesday, May 22, 2007 |
| Not Bad. |
SEMESTER 1
Mr. Know-All said: “Be very strict toward students.”
Okay.
So I began to publicly ask
about my students’ mischievous acts
Thinking that I would discipline
these so-called lack-of-attention students
That I could show my care and steadfastness
Faiz was late
“Why are you late Faiz?”
“Er, overslept lah Sir.”
Few questions followed
I was annoyed
Siti Yusnaniza was absent the day before
“Siti Yusnaniza?”
“Yes!”
“Where were you yesterday?”
“Er, balik kampong lah Sir.”
Few questions followed
I was irritated
They were both miserably unhappy
“Strict sangatlah Sir ni…”
Hah!
I was an old-fashioned teacher
painfully acting like an old sick grandfather
At the end of the semester
They were finally barred
from sitting for final examination
I just had to do my dirty job
I felt numb
Very bad.
SEMESTER 2
Mrs. Know-All said: “Be more student-oriented.”
Fine.
So I began to publicly disregard
my students’ not-so-well-behaved acts
Thinking that these so-called matured students
could discipline themselves
That I could show my trust and easygoingness
Irwan was more fashionably late
I just continued my teaching
No questions asked
I was not annoyed
Fariza was more trendily absent the day before
“Fariza?”
“Yes!”
I just put a zero in her attendance
No questions asked
I was not irritated
They were both gleefully happy
“Sir ni lenient lah…”
Hah!
I was a modern teacher
merrily acting like a brainless clown
Not bad.
At the end of the semester
They were inevitably barred
from sitting for final examination
I just had to do my dirtier job
I felt number
Later
When I asked Irwan and Fariza
about their not-so-good-looking attendance
They both answered: “Sir tak pernah tanya pun!”
Not bad. But very bad.
What would The Know-Alls say in SEMESTER 3?
 Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 4:03 PM |
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| Tuesday, December 26, 2006 |
| Friday Freak |
It was Friday again. All lecturers were happily compelled to carry out this noble duty again. So, I had to do it again. Every Friday.
Usrah, again.
Okay students, the module topic for today’s usrah is smoking. Do you know what smoking is? Correct. Clever. What? Marlboro? Okay. Whatever. Come on, don’t tell me that you have no idea at all about smoking-related issues. Everybody knows it, kan? Smoking is prohibited in the college. Yes. It harms you. Yes. It kills you. Yes. It is haram. Yes. Bla bla bla.
Enough.
I am not going to keep doing this conventional usrah-ly type of discussion. Let me get you engaged into more lively kinetic activities. You like it? Now, imagine that our college is going to conduct a Stop-Smoking Campaign. And all of you here are the organizers. Okay, I will divide you into a few groups. And your group tasks are, number 1, to draw a giant Stop-Smoking poster and, number 2, to compose a jingle. Interesting, isn’t it? Hah? You don’t know what a jingle is? Ala, like that one on ntv7 – “I feel gooooood”. Ehem, did I sing well? Understood?
“Er… Sir… can we… sing?”
“Of course you can, dahling. It is only a mini song. No music. It is halal okay.”
Are you ready, people of the jungle? Okay, Do it now. Yes, NOOOOOW!
Yes, like that lah dear.
Very good. Keep doing it.
What smile smile? Have you composed a jingle? Good.
Okay, let me invite each group to present their posters to the whole class.  Yes, welcome to the Death Club dude…
 MasyaAllah. Mamnu’ Al-Tadkhin
 Gosh! Cigatte? Who’s your English lecturer?
 It is the way to Hell. Yes, Hell You, not Hell Me.
 Is that a lipstick sticking to that heart?
 I like this one. Don’t you get it?
Thanks people for your excellent cooperation. I love all of your posters here. Creative. Give yourselves the biggest round of applause. Yes, like that. All right, I hope you guys have enjoyed my class, opss I mean, usrah. I’ll see you again next week. Deal? Same time, same place, same lecturer. Stay tuned okay.
Oh, here is the most creative group. Congratulations. Happy weekend.
Post-script: I thought I had given my best for my usrah session. However, the honorable Usrah Manager might be a little uncomfortable with what I had just done. But knowing my style, she just had to accept it.
I am an English, yes, English lecturer.
Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 3:16 PM |
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| Thursday, November 09, 2006 |
| Being 5 |
Last Friday – 3rd of November, 2006 – marked the fifth year I have been in this higher-learning institution, being a lecturer, an academician, a guru.
 Previous campus
I still remember that day, when I beamingly walked into the college, after four mid-boggling interviews, after having a tough life, job-hopping from one company to another company. And I am so jubilated that, after years of persistent hard work and constant endurance, I finally settle in my career now.
Why am I so in love with this college?
1. I work only for 6 flexible hours a day, 30 hours a week, 5 working days only. That makes me so happily smile and move like a tame snake, coming everyday to the college anytime (provided that I fulfill those 6 hours), without following the strict office hours. Oh, how I hate those fixed hours when I worked in the previous institutions. 8.30 sharp! No way. I love to be flexible where I can practice my own self-discipline. And I think I have done that so religiously.
2. If you want to be a boss, come and work here. Apart from having to report to my superiors, I am my own boss in many exciting ways. In a classroom, I am in-charge of the students, where I am their manager, counselor, father, brother, dictator and other superior-related roles, simultaneously. Well, Cekmi rules here. Shut up and listen.
3. Being among the second batch of lecturers, I am now a senior (young, of course) who is entitled for a better salary scheme. This makes the other batches of lecturers always look at me with contempt. Why the hell, they might think, Cekmi got a better salary than we do while we are doing the same damn thing? Sorry guys, the world is never fair.
4. I can, at my own whims and fancies, decide what I want to be and what I don’t want to be. I once volunteered to be a manager for a department, so I comfortably got it. And when I felt like I was in the middle of an administrative suicide, I sent a one-month notice of resignation to the HR. The CEO sent me a thank-you letter. Just like that. Thank you Cekmi.
5. My colleagues are the “craziest” people on earth. They are not only my office mates, but also my close friends. We giggle in the office like wild teens (oh, just forget about being a professional lecturer!), laugh like naughty kids, and share things so intimately like brothers and sisters. Last Monday, we had a pot-luck gathering in my house and, to make it unforgettable, we had a wild poisonous-box game. You can imagine how hilarious it was when 12 people laughed hysterically at the same time. Talk about English lecturers.  Current campus
Some interesting trivia about Cekmi & his college:
1. My current immediate boss is my previous immediate subordinate
2. A part-time admin staff is paid RM3 per hour (McDonald’s rate?)
3. I got triple bonus last year (six in the making, insyaAllah)
4. A lecturer has to teach usrah (Cekmi can be an ustaz okay)
5. I was the MC for college convocation for two consecutive years (not bad, ar?)
6. CEO’s favourite question: “Bila nak kawin?”
What do I want more from this college?
1. A room for each lecturer, with personal accessories (don’t forget an air-con)
2. More flexible attire rules for students (decent jeans is fine for me)
3. More incentives for staff (end-of-year holidays in, er, Bali perhaps)
4. Friendlier administrative staffs who know how to smile (speak English please..)
5. An award for best-dressed male lecturer. Hehehe.
What’s more?
I don’t need anything more. I am blessed with all the good things here. Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 3:05 PM |
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| Tuesday, April 04, 2006 |
| Doable |
Research writing can be such a challenging shit for many people.
“I am sick with the administrative constraints,” said Melly, one of my close friends.
“Why?” I asked.
“Well, they keep rejecting the proposals,” she paused and smiled, “and the next meeting will be in a couple of months’ time.”
I was smiling too and asked, “So what are you going to do?”
“I’d better sit for a Comprehensive Examination.”
Yes, IIUM is among the rare universities that leave two great options for its postgraduate students – Coursework with Thesis OR Coursework with Comprehensive Exam (coined as “compre” by most students).
This confusion has always tricked my conscience since the very beginning of my postgraduate studies: The question of Thesis versus Compre.
For those who are so ambitious enough to change the world and get themselves published in one of the reputable journals in the library of thoughts, they would go for the former.
For those who are so busy with their family and professional life, and desperate enough for an easy way out, they would go for the latter.
I have been imagining the worst things that could happen to me if I were to write a thesis, until I got the “call” early this year that changed my perspective.
“You gotta sacrifice something in your life”, advised Dr. Zah, upon asking her about my highly-disordered mentalities.
“But I can’t sacrifice my work,” I reasoned.
“I know your work is important for your survival, but is this what you are going to do for the rest of your life? Think of your future, dear.”
With those words lingering powerfully in my mind for many hours, I finally made up my mind – I am going to write a thesis. With determination and proper management, I know I am able to handle all the possible administrative constraints from the university, just like what Melly had madly gone through.
“What’s more important is to choose a topic that can be easily done – doable,” added Dr Zah, who agreed later to be my supervisor. I was so happy since I got an A in her subject before, and what’s more, she’s the Head of the Department. It surely ensures a brighter and more promising end. Well, the road is now open, waiting for a suicidal driver called Cekmi.
After a few months (!) of contemplation, driven by Dr. Zah’s continuous beliefs in my capabilities, I decided an area for my investigation. And this is what I have always wanted to explore – the Phonetics of English Language.
I know I can make it doable. Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 4:36 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 |
| My Beautiful Classes |
This semester has been extra special for me. First, it is my last semester as a master’s degree student. In a matter of days, there will be no more classes to attend, no more difficult lectures to listen to, no more happy pressures for examinations, no more mind-boggling assignments to submit, no more student’s crazy datelines, no more campus life, no more nerve-cracking triple lives. There is only one thing left – my thesis writing, which I am independently undertaking so ‘passionately’. I am hoping that I can complete the research work by August this year, if and only I can create a miracle and transform myself into a wonder man.
Secondly, as a lecturer, this is my first time teaching Business Communication. It has been such a rewarding and satisfying experience, despite my being so amateurish and inexperienced. My students have been so surprisingly enthusiastic, co-operative and diligent. Most importantly, we definitely had a lot fun.
Besides Business Communication, I am also teaching the other two language-proficiency classes. One, Diploma Level 4 which consists of only 9 female students. Despite the small of number of students and all-girl class, these pretty ladies have been very mysteriously passive, which perplexes me most of the time. I wonder whether I am too serious that puts some gaps between us, or I am too friendly that makes them too shy to approach me, afraid that I will take it as boyfriend-girlfriend thingy, which I will certainly not condone to (or even perhaps there are no boys in the classroom to tease, challenge and motivate them!). I thought I had tried most of the teaching techniques to bring out the precious gold in their mouthes, but it was somewhat a failure. Nevertheless, I like their company since I can concentrate on them more compared to other big classes. Only there is something missing which I am always curious of knowing. Second, my Diploma English 3, which consists of 44 students. The large number of students makes me a little uneasy, and at times, losing some control over their excessive behaviour. It indeed tests my patience. But, I surely enjoyed teaching them. Undoubtedly.
The third class is Section 4 of Business Communication. I love these people, but the gigantic number of students in this section makes me disorientated all the time. Monitoring 45 students is not that easy to handle, especially when the coursework marks account for 60% of overall grade. However, they are so hardworking who happily managed to bear with my ever demanding tasks – all those business letters, memos, reports, interviews, mock meetings and power point presentations. Congratulations to the CEOs and Presidents of each company – Wedding Paradise Sdn. Bhd., Lane Line Transportation Sdn. Bhd., Teratai Crystal Corporation and Songket Mas Travel & Tour. You guys have done a splendid job! I am truly impressed.
Finally, and thank God, there is a class which I am always comfortable with. It is not that I am being biased, but, as a normal human being, I cannot help feeling this way. Some things just attract our attention than others. The class that I am referring to is Business Communication Section 6. This is my most happening class this semester. They are the last bunch of students I meet after having been through the previous ‘tough’ three consecutive classes. There are 20 of them, which is ideal for teaching and learning. I don’t know, these people always make me smile, warm my heart, and release the tension I usually have during hectic morning classes. This class really brings out the best in me. I adore them. To Rose Wedding Paradise Sdn. Bhd. and Royal Supplies Enterprise – you really make me proud. Thanks people, for bringing all the joy and laughter throughout the classes. It proves that a lecturer can be a good friend too. (Tips for new students: next semester, don’t register for a class with a big number of students because, in normal circumstances, students as well as the lecturers have some difficulties to perform to their fullest capacity in a big class).
To all my dear students, I apologize for all my wrongdoings. I wish you all the best for your upcoming Final Examination (and wish me luck for my papers too!). You have been such wonderful buddies to me. Indeed, I have touched your lives, and you have touched mine.
 Shy girls: Diploma English 4
Rose Wedding Paradise Sdn. Bhd.
Royal Supplies Enterprise
Wedding Paradise Sdn. Bhd.
Lane Line Transportation Sdn. Bhd.
Teratai Crystal Corporation
Songket Mas Travel & Tour 
Most Happening Class! Labels: cekmi's academic world |
| mused by cekmi @ 1:08 PM |
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